Teacher: Don’t you want to be in the top half of your graduating class? Pupil: I’m content to be one of the students who make the top half possible! Teacher: The picture of the horse is good, but where is the wagon? Pupil: Isn’t the horse supposed to draw it?…
05/22/12 Grif.Net – New Student
It was the last few weeks of school, but the fourth grade class got a new student – the son of a Japanese businessman who had just moved to town. The teacher greeted the class, introduced 10-year old Toshiba, and said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said…
05/21/12 Grif.Net – Mary
Mary had a little lamb, Its fleece was slightly gray. It didn’t have a father, Just some borrowed DNA. It sort of had a mother, Though the ovum was on loan. It was not so much a lambkin As a little lamby clone. And soon it had a fellow clone,…
05/19/12 Weekend Grif.Net – Tribute to Teachers
WHAT TEACHERS MAKE (OR, IF THINGS DON’T WORK OUT YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO LAW SCHOOL) by Taylor Mali He says the problem with teachers is What’s a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher? He reminds the other…
05/18/12 Grif.Net – Memory
An old elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. Looking irritated, he ambled on over and kicked the turtle clear across to the other side of the river. “What did you do that for?” asked a passing giraffe. “Because…
05/17/12 Grif.Net – Advice on Bears
A young boy from New York was being led through the mountainous back country near Lander, Wyoming, by his friend. “Is it true,” he asked, “that a grizzly bear won’t attack you if you carry a flashlight?” “That depends,” replied his young guide, “on how fast you can carry the…
05/16/12 Grif.Net – Sheep or Goat?
My sermon from Matthew’s Gospel was hard for a young boy in the church to grasp. It dealt with the sheep and the goats, and I had urged everyone who heard this to look at their lives to see which they were. “I’m confused,” the lad concluded. “I don’t know…
05/15/12 Grif.Net – Home on the Range
A successful business man became disenchanted with the stress of the fast life in Los Angeles and decided to chuck it all. He took his savings and purchased a large ranch in the middle of nowhere in Wyoming. After a couple of months of enjoying solitude he heard the drumming…
05/14/12 Grif.Net – Mother’s Day Report
Yesterday (Mother’s Day) a sweet young girl decided to do something special for her mother. So early in the morning she snuck into the bedroom and brought Mom a cup of tea. “Why, you’re such a sweetheart,” the mother said as she drank the tea. “I didn’t know you even…
05/12/12 Weekend Grif.Net – Love Lessons
Just before Mother’s Day, a class of first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different color hair than the other family members. One child suggested that he was adopted and a little girl said, “I know all about adoptions because…
05/11/12 Grif.Net – New Battery
An angry driver went back to the garage where he had purchased an expensive battery for his car just six months earlier. He told the garage owner, “When I bought that battery, you said it would be the last battery my car would ever need. Now six months later, it’s…
05/10/12 Grif.Net – Helpful Hint
I always help the kids in church give me the “right” answers to questions I ask during a sermon. So last week I asked the little ones “With what did Samson arm himself to fight against the Philistines?” None of the children could answer me. “Oh, yes, you know!” I…
05/09/12 Grif.Net – Food Questions
When a clock is hungry, does it go back four seconds? What does cheese say when it has its picture taken? If carrots help your eyesight, how come you see so many dead rabbits by the side of the road? What part of a fish is a fish stick? If…