I had= a bunch of salad puns, but I tossed them. Lettuce take a moment to = appreciate these salad puns.   A good salad is always dressing for s= uccess.   Romaine calm and carry on.   I love you from my head tomatoes.   = If you wear…

Fly Lutheran Air: If you are traveling soon-consider Luthera= n Air, the no-frills airline-you’re all in the same boat on Lutheran Air. W= here flying is an uplifting experience.   Remember ~There is no First Class on any Lutheran Air flight. ~Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls, 7-15 bring…

My do= ctor tested my hearing and said I was going deaf. That news w= as hard to hear.   I always thought chirop= ractors were imposters and not real doctors, Now that I&#821= 7;ve been helped by one, I stand corrected.   What is the difference between a dad…

A fri= end complained how bad it was to live in the central USA.= She= wishes she were moved out the state of Missouri.  = Geology rocks, but geography is where it’s at.   Mama told me, one man’s trash is another man&#= 8217;s treasure. Then she mentioned that I…

What do you call a magician that loses his magic?= Ian. =    What did the yoga instr= uctor say when her landlord tried to evict her? Namaste.   What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum? He has a meltdown.   What do you call a hippie&#= 8217;s wife?=…

A little boy about 10 years old was standing on t= he sidewalk in front of a shoe store, barefooted, peering through the windo= w, and shivering with cold. A lady approached the boy and said, "My li= ttle fellow, why are you looking so earnestly in that window?"  …

What did the horse say after it tripped?= Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t gi= ddy-up!   What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie. &nbs= p; What do you call a well-balanced horse?= Stable.   What do you say to boi= ling water? RIP. You will be…

The most shoplifted book in America is the bible.   = According to researchers, duct tape should never be used for sealing ducts.=   Sweden’s famous Ice Hotel has a smoke detector.   In 2011, the win= ners of an elementary school spelling bee in Utah received a trophy reading=…

[This is a reprint from 25 years ago. Not so funn= y now.] "OLDER THAN DIRT" IS WHEN . . . Your sweetie says,= "Let’s go upstairs and neck," and you answer, "Pick one, I = can’t do both!"    "OLDER THAN DIRT" IS WHEN . .= . Your friends…

What = do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? =   ** Knock, knock. Who&#8217= ;s there? To. To who? No, to whom= =2E   ** This sentence conta= ins exactly threee erors.   ** “God, how long is a million years?” “To = me,…

[Reprint from the Grif Net 29 years ago, coming t= rue in our lifetime] Today is the "official" observance of= Memorial Day. But did you know that the original Memorial Day was observed= on April 26 in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and Mississippi; on May 10 in No= rth Carolina and…

Soldier, rest, thy warfare o’er, Dream of fighting fields no more. Sleep the sleep that knows not breaking, Morn of toi= l, nor night of waking.    =    Sir Walter Scott &= nbsp;    Memorial Day began as a= memorial for Civil War veterans.  It has become both a…

The United States makes 25 percent of the world&#821= 7;s cheese. Wisconsin produces the most (and best)   Want a license plate= in the shape of a polar bear? All you have to do is move to Nunavut Provin= ce in Canada!   How do you tell if a cranberry…