Grif.Net

Three Bears fans were bemoaning the sorry state of t= heir football team after watching their humiliation at Lambeau Field yester= day. “I blame the general = manager,” said the first fan. “If he signed better players, we&= #8217;d be a great team.” &#82= 20;I blame the players,” said the…

God Knows Best by Helen Steiner Rice   Our Father knows what’s best for us,So why= should we complainWe always want the sunshine,But He knows there m= ust be rain   We love the sound of laughterAnd the merriment of cheer,But our hearts would lose their tendernessIf we never shed…

What happens to a baseball player when he begins to = lose his sight? He becomes an umpire.   = What do you call a burglar that falls into a cement mixer? A hardened criminal. =   If you can’t find your base= ball mitt in the back seat of…

Do you know why snowmen get cold feet in bed? They sleep on sheets of ice.   Do turkeys have= good table manners? No. They always gob= ble up their food.   = Is there a difference between a wild horse and a tame = horse? Only a bit.  …

Here is a variety of fun family-friendly riddles to = enjoy around the dinner table tonight.   What’s the difference between spri= ng rolls and summer rolls? Their season= ing.   What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.   What word can you make shorter by adding…

Here is a variety of fun family-friendly riddles to = enjoy around the dinner table tonight.   What did the dirt say to the rain?= If you keep this up, my name will be m= ud!   Why should you never throw grandpa’s false teeth at a vehicle? You might…

Here is a variety of fun family-friendly riddles to = enjoy around the dinner table tonight.   What did 20 do when it was hungry?= 28.   Why is grass so dangerous? = Because it’s full of blades.   Why shouldn&#= 8217;t you fundraise for marathons? The= y just take…

Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It k= nows it must run faster than the fas= test lion or it will be killed. =   Every morning a lion wakes up. It k= nows it must outrun the slowest gazel= le or it will starve to death. &=…

It has come to my attention that some of you are = using MY NAME as a "reference&qu= ot; or "recommendation" for job applications or graduate school evaluations. You might like to know wh= at the standard jargon really means to your old profs before thinking all of their reports…

[Written Oct 1 1996 to my college students as the= brand new grif.net blog had expanded to 36 recipient] It has come t= o my attention that some of you are using your TEACHER’S NAME as a "reference" or "recommendation= " for job applications or graduate school evaluations. You might…

[September celebrated the grif.net blog’s 30th anniversary. Here is one more old joke from 1996] We tend to be = myopic, thinking only of self and personal interest.  Consider these f= acts from another perspective: &nbsp= ; *From a clock’s point of view, the hands mov= e counterclockwise.   *From…

[As we celebrate 30 years of daily grif.net fooli= shness, here is another rerun from September 29th, 1996] = Compiled from senior seminar: &n= bsp; "Before I came to college I wish= I had known . . . "  = That no matter how late I scheduled my fi= rst…

  The = grif.net blog entry below is a repeat from September 23rd, 1996.= This week we celebrate THIRTY YEARS of daily entertainment. Want to thank = all the readers who have made it a success with your submissions of humor o= r more serious weekend fodder. As you can…