Grif.Net

Teenaged boy comes home from driving dad’s new car. "I’= ve got good news and bad news – which do you want first"   Dad replies,= "Give me the good news first".    Son says, "The airbag= s work"   = ~~ Dr = Bob Griffin [email protected]  www.grif.net “From all…

[This= was submitted by a reader of Health Canada Magazine, June 2001, and reprin= ted in the Grif.Net 25 years ago this month]   The presence of female hormones in beer leads to a theory that drinki= ng beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men…

Late one evening, a man frantically searched his par= ked car in the dark for his lost cell phone, relying on the weak glow of a = flashlight. He was getting more and more frustrated as he worked his hand i= nto each crevice, nook, and cranny around and under…

O Church, arise, and put your armour on;Hear the= call of Christ our Captain.For now the weak can say that they are stro= ngIn the strength that God has given.With shield of faith and belt = of truth,We’ll stand against the devil’s lies;An army b= old, whose battle-cry is Love,Reaching…

What should the USA Futbol team have eaten yesterday= morning before their big game?Kix   I never thought I’d be the type of= person who would one day get up early in the morning to exercise. I wa= s right.   Police found a dead woman in a bathtub full…

At breakfast, my wife said: Honey, you forgot I want= ed French toast this morning. Me: Oops. = Sorry. (raising glass)  VIVE LA FRANCE! =   My favorite = Christmas breakfast is Eggs Benedict served on a hubcap. There’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.   = I went to…

[We didn’t need any egging on to share Morning= Humor this week. Don’t thank me, just raise a toast]   If I make you= breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank you” is all I need. Not all this “How did you get in my house?= ?” business.   = Do…

I bur= nt 800 calories this morning. I forgot the pizza in the oven.=   Every single morning I get hit by the s= ame bike. It’s a vicious cycle. &nbs= p; Every morning, I find that somebody has quietly put a bunch of = celery on my front door…

Every= morning I announce loudly to my family that I’m going jogging, but t= hen don’t go. It’s a running joke.   I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this mo= rning, when I thought to myself… I really need to wash = some mugs.   Every morning after…

A farmer owned an old mule, but the critter fell into the fa= rmer’s well. The farmer heard the mule braying – or whatever mules do when = they fall into wells. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer s= ympathized with the mule, but decided that neither the mule…

A fri= end in need is a friend to be avoided. Lord Samuel=   It is important to our friends to believe that we = are unreservedly frank with them, and important to friendship that we are n= ot. Mignon McLaughlin   Ther= e is nothing better than a friend,…

Frien= ds are people who know you really well and like you anyway. G= reg Tamlyn   The capacity for friendship i= s God’s way of apologizing for our families. Jay McIner= ney   It is one of the blessings of old fr= iends that you can afford to be…

A tru= e friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows= that you are slightly cracked. Bernard Meltzer   Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but= what you want is someone who will take the bus with you…