[Each Fall we try to update our definitions on Football as applied to the
Church. Here is the latest . . .]
Benchwarmer – Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything
but sit.
Backfield-in-Motion – Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain)
during the service.
Quarterback Sneak – Church members quietly leaving during the final hymn.
Draw Play – What many children do with the bulletin during Worship.
In the Pocket – What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the
Lord’s work.
Halftime – The period between Sunday School and Worship when many choose to
slip out of the building for a smoke.
Two-minute Warning – The point at which you realize the sermon is almost
over and begin to gather up your children and belongings and put on your
coat.
Instant Replay – The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s
illustrations.
Sudden Death – What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the
preacher goes “overtime”.
Sacked – Where most men would rather be on Sunday morning.
Trap – You’re called on to pray and are asleep.
End Run – Getting out of church quickly, without speaking to guests, fellow
member, and especially not to the pastor.
Flex Defense – The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the
sermon to affect your life.
Halfback Option – The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for
the evening service.
Wildcat Offense – Five men on the platform and Pastor asks for a volunteer
to come and close in prayer.
Huddle – group of ladies quietly condemning what everyone else is wearing
Blitz – The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”