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Ladies: You survived “Black Friday”. Today is “Cyber Monday”. But many, I’m afraid, still need help gift shopping for the man in your life. Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you should have no problems. Rule #1: When…

Jenny was so happy about the house they had found. For once in her life ’twas on the right side of town. She unpacked her things with such great ease. As she watched her new curtains blow in the breeze. How wonderful it was to have her own room. School…

I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone. Work is for people who don’t know how to fish. Someday we’ll look back on all this and plow into…

Christian: Grandpa, what is the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer? G’pa: I don’t know Christian: A pirate buries his treasures and the farmer treasures his berries. ~~ Austin: Grandma, do you think a turkey is a better drummer than me? G’ma: Maybe. Remember it was born with…

G’ma: What would you like for dessert? Jonah: Pumpkin pie! G’ma: Pumpkin pie, what, dear? Say the magic word. Jonah: I’m sorry, Grandma. Pumpkin pie, abracadabra! ~~ G’pa: No turkey to eat this year. It was arrested by the Casper police? Jadin: Why, Grandpa? G’pa: I think it was using…

“Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading”. ~~Thomas Jefferson Ten Insights from Gun Owners: 1. Guns have only two natural enemies: rust and liberal politicians. 2. It is always better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6. 3. Police carry guns to…

Flying home from the conference and activities of Texas today (Cowboys won in OT; what a great way to cap the week), and want to spend some special time with the bride when I get back. Asked her what she wanted to make it special. She suggested, in her subtle…

15+ years ago, Wichita pastor Joe Wright offered a prayer before the Kansas State Legislature in Topeka. When he finished, three members jumped to their feet and indignantly shouted, “He can’t talk like that!” One representative called the prayer “gross, divisive, sanctimonious, and overbearing.” Another called it “blasphemous and ignorant.”…

[And of course, we have even MORE Bagpipe jokes. BTW, these are classic “FlexiJokes” so you may interchange bagpipe with the instrument of your choice that you wish to deride. Drummer. Cello. Saxophone. All fair game!] Q. What’s the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead…

{Here are more jokes that allow you to change the subject/butt of the joke to suit the audience. Feel free to change the CAPITALIZED subject to suit your personal prejudices, political leaning, hair color, state/country of origin or profession.] Jack and his companions were in a hot air balloon which…

[15+ years ago, Randy Miller sends this collection of bagpipe jokes for Grif.Net readers. They may be used with ANY INSTRUMENT (oboe, clarinet, cello) of your displeasure.] Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison? A. Shoot one. — Q. What’s the difference between a bagpipe…

[Many jokes allow you to change the subject/butt of the joke to suit the audience. Feel free to change the CAPITALIZED subject to suit your personal prejudices, political leaning, hair color, state/country of origin or profession. You’re welcome!] The Tooth Fairy, an Honest POLITICIAN and Davy Crockett were walking along…

My wife was pulled over by a trooper who said she was weaving. She replied, “I was not. I was crocheting.” For a REAL sponge cake, BORROW all the ingredients. Never buy a pit-bull from a one armed man. I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done. I…