Grif.Net

[This is a reprint from 25 years ago. Not so funn= y now.] "OLDER THAN DIRT" IS WHEN . . . Your sweetie says,= "Let’s go upstairs and neck," and you answer, "Pick one, I = can’t do both!"    "OLDER THAN DIRT" IS WHEN . .= . Your friends…

What = do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? =   ** Knock, knock. Who&#8217= ;s there? To. To who? No, to whom= =2E   ** This sentence conta= ins exactly threee erors.   ** “God, how long is a million years?” “To = me,…

[Reprint from the Grif Net 29 years ago, coming t= rue in our lifetime] Today is the "official" observance of= Memorial Day. But did you know that the original Memorial Day was observed= on April 26 in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and Mississippi; on May 10 in No= rth Carolina and…

Soldier, rest, thy warfare o’er, Dream of fighting fields no more. Sleep the sleep that knows not breaking, Morn of toi= l, nor night of waking.    =    Sir Walter Scott &= nbsp;    Memorial Day began as a= memorial for Civil War veterans.  It has become both a…

The United States makes 25 percent of the world&#821= 7;s cheese. Wisconsin produces the most (and best)   Want a license plate= in the shape of a polar bear? All you have to do is move to Nunavut Provin= ce in Canada!   How do you tell if a cranberry…

Most = department stores tend to play slower music, in order to slow down customer= s and keep them shopping longer. The opposite is true for re= staurants.   Monaco’s orchestra is b= igger than its army.   The song with the = longest title has 29 words: Hoagy Carmichael’s…

Sixty percent of the world’s lakes (three mill= ion total) are located in Canada.   The highest point in Penn= sylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado. =   You’re never farthe= r than 30 steps from a trash can at Disney World.   Ninety percent of Libya=…

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on Ju= ly 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn’t added = until 5 years later.   The term "the whole 9 yards" came from WWII= fighter pilots in the…

Mark Twain was born on the night Haley’s comet pa= ssed the Earth, and died the night it passed the Earth.   Average li= fe span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.   The only 15 letter = word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.…

Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in= it. From a distance, each looks like every other horse. But if you stop yo= ur car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing. Looking= into the eyes of one horse will disclose…

[This is a reprint from the Grif Net blog May 15, 2006. = Amazed at how many of these are still true 20 years later.] 1. Home = is where you hang your @   2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than t= he mail.   3.…

Useful Metric Conversions You Won’t Learn in School   * 1 mill= ion microphones =3D 1 megaphone &nbs= p; * 2000 mockingbirds =3D two kilomockingbird= s   * 52 cards =3D 1 decacards   * 1 millionth of a fish =3D 1 microfiche   * 453= =2E6 graham crackers =3D…

[These ‘jokes’ will draw a groan rather = than a chuckle. If you don’t get every one, you are not alone.]What did the cell say to his sister’s cell after she stepped on his foot?= Mitosis.   The logic pr= ofesser’s wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands…