This list is circulating among Forest Service employees. These are
actual comments left last year on Forest Service registration sheets and
comment cards by backpackers completing wilderness camping trips:
“A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a
way I can get reimbursed? Please call.”
“Escalators would help on steep uphill sections.”
“Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to
reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to
wilderness.”
“Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.”
“Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are
more likely to chase animals.”
“All the mile markers seem to be missing this year.”
“Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.”
“Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that
go uphill.”
“Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray
the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.”
“Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow in the winter.”
“Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful
views without having to hike to them.”
“The wolves made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please
eradicate these annoying animals.”
“Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike
at night with flashlights.”
“Need more signs to keep area pristine.”
“A McDonald’s would be nice at the trailhead.”
“The places where trails do not exist are not well marked.”
“Too many rocks in the mountains.”
[ANSWERS TO MONDAY'S EXAM (now that I'm safely back home in Wyoming]
1. Do they have a 4th of July in England? YES (they also have a 3rd of
July, a 2nd of July, etc…)
2. How many birthdays does the average man have? ONE
3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28? ALL OF THEM
4. A woman gives a beggar 50 cents; the woman is the beggar’s sister, but
the beggar is not the woman’s brother. How come? THE BEGGAR IS HER SISTER
5. Why can’t a man living in Wyoming be buried anywhere in Canada? CANNOT
BURY A LIVING PERSON
6. How many outs are there in an inning? SIX (3 for each team)
7. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow’s sister? NO (he
would be dead to have a widow)
8. Two men play five games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of
games. There are no ties. How can this happen? THEY ARE NOT PLAYING EACH
OTHER
9. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer? 70 (30 divided by 1/2
is 60, then add 10
10. A man builds a house rectangular in shape. Four sides have southern
exposure. What color is the bear that walks by? WHITE (the bear would be a
polar bear, because the house must be at the north pole)
11. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have? 2 (you
just took 2 apples)
12. I have two US coins totaling 55 cents. One is not a nickel. What are
the coins? A HALF-DOLLER AND A NICKEL (one is not a nickel, but the other
one is)
13. If you have only one match and you walked into a room where there was an
oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which one would you
light first? THE MATCH
14. How far can a dog run into the woods? HALF WAY (then he would be running
OUT of the woods)
15. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour.
How long would the pills last? ONE HOUR (the first one, a half hour later,
and another one more half hour)
16. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left? NINE
17. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark? NONE. (Moses was
not on the ark; Noah was)
18. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5′ 10″ tall. What does he weigh? MEAT
19. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen? 12
20. What was the President’s name in 1963? OBAMA
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”
