Making some of you ‘think’ is not an easy task on a springtime Wednesday, so today I am sharing some fun-for-the-whole-family BRAIN TEASERS. Some are easy, some aren’t. NO answers forth-coming . . . you’re on your own! (1) How can you use the letters in ‘NEW DOOR’ to make…
05/18/10 Grif.Net – Safest Place to be in 2010
1. Avoid riding in automobiles because they are responsible for 20% of all fatal accidents. 2. Do not stay home because 17% of all accidents occur in the home. 3. Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because 14% of all accidents occur to pedestrians. 4. Avoid traveling by air, rail,…
05/17/10 Grif.Net – Some More Universal Laws
The Law of Diminishing Communication: The distance between you and the nearest emergency telephone, is in inverse proportion to the nature of your emergency. Mechanical breakdown is nothing compared to a medical emergency. The Law of Mechanical Repair: When working under your car, in your garage, after your hands become…
05/15/10 Weekend Grif.Net – Burning Hut
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him…
05/14/10 Grif.Net – Baby Animal Names
Time for a quiz. I will list a type of animal or bird, and you give the name of its young. Some are little used and lesser known. Some even the kiddies know and love! Example: Cow – calf Antelope – Bear – Beaver – Birds – Cat Codfish Deer…
05/13/10 Grif.Net – Existential Zingers
Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. What did love say to fear? Nothing. Love knows no fear. Why do they bother saying “raw” sewage? Do some people cook that stuff? Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy…
05/12/10 Grif.Net – Partnership Names
Bank, Rupp & Baroque, Loans Bright, Light & Powers, Electricians Flowers, Bush & Hedges Landscaping Cook, Books & Hyde, CPA Dewey, Cheatam & Howe, Tax Service House & Holmes Realty The Reid & Wright Learning Center Rex Carr’s Driving School White, Sands & Son, Cruise Consultants Ketchum & Killum, Bounty…
05/11/10 Grif.Net – Signs of the Times
You know you are living in 2010 when… 1 You currently have 10 or more items “recharging” in your home or office. 2 You’ve accidentally entered your password on the microwave. 3 You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years. 4 You have a list of 15 phone numbers…
05/10/10 Grif.Net – English Replacing German in the European Union
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in…
05/08/10 Weekend Grif.Net – Mothers and the Census
THAT’S LIFE: A CENSUS POEM [Published in the July 2007 edition of Royal Statistical Society News, London] He said “Your occupation please”, This census-taking guy. I started to enumerate And said quite frankly, “I Wash the dishes, scrub the floors, Shine the windows, polish doors, Bathe three children, wipe their…
05/07/10 Grif.Net – Genealogy Woes
[I am presently putting together an 8-generation “tree” for my grandkids, in hopes they will find roots. It is a challenge for sure. Here are some random thoughts.] The only thing I know for sure is that I come from a long line of dead people. Can a first cousin,…
05/06/10 Grif.Net – Temperance Sermon
A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river!” With even greater emphasis he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and…
05/05/10 Grif.Net – Illegal, Immoral or Fattening
In the beginning God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s and Krispy Kreme. And Satan said, “You want…