Grif.Net

Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: “Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?” The survey was a huge failure because of the following: In Russia they didn’t know what…

Noah: “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head” Adam and Eve: “Strangers in Paradise” Lazarus: “The Second Time Around” Esther: “I Feel Pretty” Job: “I’ve Got a Right to Sing the Blues” Jezebel: “The Lady is a Tramp” Samson: “Hair” Salome: “I Could Have Danced All Night” Esau: “Born To Be…

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn’t find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: ‘I have circled the block 10 times. If I don’t park here,…

My lead flight attendant came to me and said, “We have an H.R. on this flight.” (H.R. stands for human remains.) “Are they military?” I asked. ‘Yes’, she said. ‘Is there an escort?’ I asked. ‘Yes, I already assigned him a seat’. ‘Would you please tell him to come to…

[“If God Is Good” by Randy Alcorn, Multnomah Press] I heard a story of a kind-hearted king who finds a blind, destitute orphan boy while hunting in a forest. The kind takes the boy to his palace, adopts him as his son, and provides for his care. He sees that…

“What kind of flower is that?” a fellow asked his neighbor who was tending his garden. “Why this is a chrysanthemum,” the neighbor answered. “Sure looks like a rose to me” “No, it’s a chrysanthemum.” “OK. Spell it!” the fellow challenged. “Khry . . Kris . . Cris . .…

When checking out colleges, I was impressed with one school whose cafeteria staff told a group of us parents that we had nothing to worry about; they only served balanced meals. My wife asked, “Balanced, like between meat, vegetables and fruit?” The answer came back, “Not quite. By ‘balanced’ we…

At a recent graduation ceremony at Virginia Tech, the students gathered in the football stadium. The joy and exuberance of the day led to some good-natured chants En masse, the engineering students stood and shouted, “We’ve got jobs! We’ve got jobs!” From the other side of the field, the business…

Johnny’s Mother looked out the window and noticed him “playing church” with their cat. He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work. A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to…

MONDAY – It’s fun to cook for Wes. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. TUESDAY – Wes wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn’t dress.…

[Author Unknown ] A weary mother returned from the store, lugging groceries through the kitchen door. Awaiting her arrival was her 8 year old son, anxious to relate what his younger brother had done. ‘While I was out playing and Dad was on a call, T.J. took his crayons and…

Collective Nouns are used to describe a number of a particular bird or animals in a group. Example: A ____ of whales = POD Mike was intrigued with last week’s quiz on the names of the “young” of various animals and birds. So he helped compile this list. Now it’s…

We hired a young man to do some work in the office. I asked for a brief bit of history about him, his training, his family, etc. He said that his mother was in iron and father in steel, and that he had learned his financial skills in Yale. Sounded…