Grif.Net

[CSR reminded me of some “laws” to which we are all subject, even though they will not be found on any tablets of stone. We adapted some, and are stunned by the validity of them all] Law of the Turkey – When getting the bits and pieces of meat off…

Grandkids are coming and my camera is broken. Trying not to have a negative attitude, so I’ll take it to the repair shop and see what develops. Give it my best shot. My photos are always bad, so some think I broke it on purpose. The truth isn’t so black…

If you have kleptomania, what’s the best thing to take for it? If you don’t pay your exorcist can you be repossessed? Are cardboard belts just a waist of paper? If an astronaut broke the law of gravity would he get a suspended sentence? When a clock is hungry, does…

[Only five days until I get to spoil four grandkids rotten. But we will have a mandatory question/answer time to be certain they inherited grandpa’s warped humor] Q: What type of book would a criminal write that explained how he couldn’t have committed the crime? A: An alibiography. Q: Which…

[LK thought I’d like this. She was right] A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, “Rest in Peace.” The owner was angry and called the…

[RM, an old cruise friend, sent this timely reminder] You know, time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years. It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. And yet in a way,…

Lots of interesting odds and ends came across my desk the past five days and caused me to note all the events in recent history. Will give you the hard parts, the EVENT and DATE – but can you figure out the YEAR? On some, getting the correct decade would…

THE CREATION STORY (Bible According to Snoopy) On the first day of creation, God created the dog. On the second day, God created man to serve the dog. On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the…

A pastor went to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he got his new teeth, he spoke for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he preached for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, however, he went on and on for 2 hours and 48…

Do bakers with a sense of humor bake wry bread? If you trade in stolen gate-posts, does that make you a fence? Are candles on a birthday cake for people who want to make light of their age? If you smuggle automobiles into the country, are you trafficking? When Buffalo,…

Sam and Ruth from Maine wrote that they had just bought a new car when winter hit with all its fury. “I wonder if the car has seat warmers,” Ruth said. “It sure does,” said Sam, looking through the owner’s manual. “There’s a button on the dashboard that says it’s…

When we feel we have nothing left to give And we are sure that the song has ended When our day seems over and the shadows fall And the darkness of night has descended. Where can we go to find the strength To valiantly keep on trying, Where can we…

[Big college football game this weekend caused this joke to surface] After Coach Nick Saban dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on a tour. He shows him a little two-bedroom house with a faded Alabama banner hanging from the front porch. “This is your house, coach,” God…