Grif.Net

Christmas Eve. A burglar broke into the home of a prominent local lawyer. He took the lawyer’s Christmas gifts from under the tree, leaving the packages for the wife and children untouched.. As he was leaving the house, he was apprehended by an alert policeman. He confessed to what he…

Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presents you would rather not have received: 1. Of all the gifts I’ve ever received . . . 2. My word! What a gift. 3. Wow! This won’t last long at my house. 4. If I hadn’t put on so much…

Each December, I vowed to make Christmas a calm and peaceful experience. I had cut back on nonessential obligations – extensive card writing, endless baking, decorating, and even overspending. Yet still, I found myself exhausted, unable to appreciate the precious family moments, and of course, the true meaning of Christmas.…

Questions and Answers for every age . . . What did Adam say on December 24th? It’s Christmas, Eve. What is the beautician’s favorite Christmas carol? “Oh comb all ye faithful” . What do you get if Santa comes down the chimney while there’s a fire blazing? Crisp Cringle What…

[Mike forwarded this new Christmas classic carol. And yes, he’s Norwegian] If Jesus had been a Norwegian, Things would be so different today. Instead of Matthew, Mark and Luke and John, We’d have Sven and Lars and Ole. Walking on the water Would be no special trick, ‘Cause all over…

A 4-year-old boy was asked to give the meal blessing before Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his…

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his voice. “I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE… I PRAY FOR A NEW…

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker were having one of their little father-and-son chats with light-sabers drawn and sparks flying. Vader pinned Luke against a bulkhead and glared into his face, “I know what you’re getting for Christmas, Luke,” he said. “Oh, yes, I know!” Luke fought himself free and jumped…

“For God has shined in our hearts, to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, in order that the excellence of the power may be of God, and not of us.” II Corinthians 4:6-7 Some years ago,…

Shorthanded at the clinic this week so I had to work three days. Always a fun time to meet new and old friends. And telling them all about our Christmas specials and how to receive valuable gifts (with a minimum purchase, of course) is great. But one dear lady left…

I know a Wyoming rancher who has 200 head of cattle. He thought there were only 196 until he rounded them up. I burned my tongue eating the gourmet food. Obviously, it was hot cuisine. He made money sending thousands of junk emails to people, but one day he made…

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? If a bear takes over Disneyland, is it a pooh d’état? If I tell jokes about other religions can I be put on the Sects Offenders List? If it weren’t for Venetian blinds would it be curtains for everybody? Is having…

I asked a friend if he knew his wife’s favorite flower. I recognized his marriage was in trouble when he said, I think it is Pillsbury Self-Rising”. Harvey up the road sent me some ‘Flower Riddles’ (answers are names of flowers) and some are hard. Here’s a baker’s dozen .…