Heard it was “Tax Season”, so assumed I can hunt any IRS agent I see. Anyone know it there is a limit on ’em? Two things you need to know about taxes. They’ve extended the deadline to April 17, and when you write your check, just make it out to…
04/16/12 Grif.Net – Auto-Reply Choices for my E-mail
1 – I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. 2 – I’m not really out of the office. I’m just ignoring you. 3 – You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office.…
04/14/12 Weekend Grif.Net – The Week AFTER Easter
I was asked, “How should one celebrate the days after Easter?” So I looked it up on beliefnet and found a great suggestion. Celebrate “with a good laugh, of course. Better yet, with a party, a really fun party.” Far from being a strange, new idea, this is actually a…
04/13/12 Grif.Net – MORE Office Truisms
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success. You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today. A thing not worth doing isn’t worth doing well. BTW, if a thing is worth doing,…
04/12/12 Grif.Net – Office Truisms
When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried. No one gets sick on Wednesdays. The longer the title, the less important the job. Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives. Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the…
04/11/12 Grif.Net – Help Wanted
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: “HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.” A short time afterwards, a Border Collie trotted up to the…
04/10/12 Grif.Net – At Our Church . . .
At our church we welcome all denominations (but we prefer tens and twenties) At our church ‘life after death for sinners’ has always been a hot topic At our church donating items to sit on is called chairity. At our church if you aren’t decently dressed, “No shoes, no shirt,…
04/09/12 Grif.Net – April Puns
The church janitor was also the organist, so he had to watch his keys and pews. Don’t swear at your hairpiece or you will have the devil toupee. I once considered becoming a monk when I was young but I was cloisterphobic. It is probable that the hawk that landed…
04/07/12 Weekend Grif.Net – Do You Believe in Easter?
Edith Burns was a wonderful Christian who lived in San Antonio Texas. She was the patient of a doctor by the name of Will Phillips. Dr. Phillips was a gentle doctor and his favorite patient was Edith Burns. One morning he went to his office with a heavy heart; it…
04/06/12 God’s Chosen People
Centuries ago, God came down, went to the Germans and said, “I have Commandments that will help you live better lives.” The Germans ask, “What are Commandments?” And the Lord says, “Rules for living.” “Can you give us an example?” God says, “Thou shalt not kill.” “Not kill? We’re not…
04/05/12 Grif.Net – Birthday Card
I received an unsigned birthday card for my 64th birthday a couple weeks ago. The front said, “Inside is a message from God.” I was pleased that someone would share a verse or words appropriate, but was a little put off when I opened it to read the message, “See…
04/04/12 Grif.Net – Easter Eggs
One Easter Sunday morning as the pastor was preaching a children’s sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed at the egg and asked the children, “What’s in here?” “I know, I know!” a little boy exclaimed. “Pantyhose!” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected]…
04/03/12 Grif.Net – Is Satan Real?
Two boys were walking home from church after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, “What do you think about all this Satan stuff?” The other boy replied, “Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It’s probably just your dad” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin…