Dad asked his teenaged son, “It’s May 24th and just a couple weeks left of school. How’s that big history paper coming?” His son replied with a smile, “Well, my teacher suggested that I use the internet for research, and it’s been very helpful. The paper is almost done!” “Really?”…
05/23/12 Grif.Net – Final Questions of the School Year
Teacher: Don’t you want to be in the top half of your graduating class? Pupil: I’m content to be one of the students who make the top half possible! Teacher: The picture of the horse is good, but where is the wagon? Pupil: Isn’t the horse supposed to draw it?…
05/22/12 Grif.Net – New Student
It was the last few weeks of school, but the fourth grade class got a new student – the son of a Japanese businessman who had just moved to town. The teacher greeted the class, introduced 10-year old Toshiba, and said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said…
05/21/12 Grif.Net – Mary
Mary had a little lamb, Its fleece was slightly gray. It didn’t have a father, Just some borrowed DNA. It sort of had a mother, Though the ovum was on loan. It was not so much a lambkin As a little lamby clone. And soon it had a fellow clone,…
05/19/12 Weekend Grif.Net – Tribute to Teachers
WHAT TEACHERS MAKE (OR, IF THINGS DON’T WORK OUT YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO LAW SCHOOL) by Taylor Mali He says the problem with teachers is What’s a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher? He reminds the other…
05/18/12 Grif.Net – Memory
An old elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. Looking irritated, he ambled on over and kicked the turtle clear across to the other side of the river. “What did you do that for?” asked a passing giraffe. “Because…
05/17/12 Grif.Net – Advice on Bears
A young boy from New York was being led through the mountainous back country near Lander, Wyoming, by his friend. “Is it true,” he asked, “that a grizzly bear won’t attack you if you carry a flashlight?” “That depends,” replied his young guide, “on how fast you can carry the…
05/16/12 Grif.Net – Sheep or Goat?
My sermon from Matthew’s Gospel was hard for a young boy in the church to grasp. It dealt with the sheep and the goats, and I had urged everyone who heard this to look at their lives to see which they were. “I’m confused,” the lad concluded. “I don’t know…
05/15/12 Grif.Net – Home on the Range
A successful business man became disenchanted with the stress of the fast life in Los Angeles and decided to chuck it all. He took his savings and purchased a large ranch in the middle of nowhere in Wyoming. After a couple of months of enjoying solitude he heard the drumming…
05/14/12 Grif.Net – Mother’s Day Report
Yesterday (Mother’s Day) a sweet young girl decided to do something special for her mother. So early in the morning she snuck into the bedroom and brought Mom a cup of tea. “Why, you’re such a sweetheart,” the mother said as she drank the tea. “I didn’t know you even…
05/12/12 Weekend Grif.Net – Love Lessons
Just before Mother’s Day, a class of first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different color hair than the other family members. One child suggested that he was adopted and a little girl said, “I know all about adoptions because…
05/11/12 Grif.Net – New Battery
An angry driver went back to the garage where he had purchased an expensive battery for his car just six months earlier. He told the garage owner, “When I bought that battery, you said it would be the last battery my car would ever need. Now six months later, it’s…
05/10/12 Grif.Net – Helpful Hint
I always help the kids in church give me the “right” answers to questions I ask during a sermon. So last week I asked the little ones “With what did Samson arm himself to fight against the Philistines?” None of the children could answer me. “Oh, yes, you know!” I…