In 2009-10 various groups tried (for unknown reasons) to find the MOST ANNOYING things people say. Here are some of the usual suspects. Whatever Hello? Yada yada yada You know It is what it is Anyway At the end of the day Fairly unique I personally At this moment in…
03/22/12 Grif.Net – Top 10 Office Evaluations
Top 10 excerpts from various employee evaluation forms: 10. This person is not really so much of a has-been, but more definitely a won’t-be. 9. A clock watcher who’s in a different time zone than the rest of the office. 8. He’s so dense, light bends around him. 7. He…
03/21/12 Grif.Net – Jabs on the Campaign Trail
[Lots of humor out there between the President and the Candidates. Jokes are often interchangeable so borrow one and use it for/against your choices!!] The President was heckled by someone in the UCLA crowd who said, ‘Don’t forget about legalizing marijuana.’ The Secret Service has narrowed the suspects down to…
03/20/12 Grif.Net – Q&A
Planning to visit grandkids in a few weeks, so gotta “up” my jokes for them. Well, try to do better . . . Q. What do you call a cow without legs? A. Ground beef. Q. Why does a seagull fly over the sea? A. Because if it flew over…
03/19/12 Grif.Net – Mindset for the Rest of March
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting…
03/17/12 Weekend Grif.Net – Two Birthdays in One Week
[For new subscribers to the Grif.Net: on Monday-Friday we send out a slightly warped blend of humor. On the weekend we send out material that is more serious of a moral, ethical, religious or political nature. This week I had TWO BIRTHDAYS, and every year I share this story on…
03/16/12 Grif.Net – Fishing Spot
Two college buddies were out in the woods on a camping trip when the came upon a great trout stream. They stayed there all day, enjoying the fishing, which was super. At the end of the day, knowing that they would be graduating from college soon and heading different directions,…
03/15/12 Grif.Net – K9
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. ‘Is that a dog you got back there?’ he asked. ‘It…
03/14/12 Grif.Net – Top 10 Birthday Thoughts
Today (March 14) I turn 64. Yippee! With that and 50 cents I can get a cup of coffee at Hardees. Here are some thoughts I’m considering this day: 1. I much prefer being ‘over the hill’ to being ‘under’ it. 2. The best birthdays of all are those I…
03/13/12 Grif.Net – Ten Signs of Aging
Facing a birthday, so sharing some insights with my friends. You Know You’re Old When . . . 1. You and your teeth don’t sleep together. 2. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?” 3. You begin every other sentence with, “Nowadays…” 4. The clothes you’ve…
03/12/12 Grif.Net – 10/50
10 Things It Took Me 50 Years to Learn (sent by a friend and appropriate for celebrating my birthday this week) Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. There can be a fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.” You should never confuse your career…
03/10/12 Weekend Grif.Net – Song, Hymns and Praise Music
An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was. “Well,” said the farmer. “It was good. They did something different, however. They sang praise choruses instead of hymns.” “Praise choruses?” asked the wife.…
03/09/12 Grif.Net – Marriage Advice
[Couple of my friends recently posted thoughts on marriage. NONE of these are original with me, in case my wife reads this grif.net page. Of course, my opinions are my wife’s anyway, and she says I’m lucky to have them at all.] Marriage is like a deck of cards. In…