Dear Grandson: It’s been a long winter and I have become a little older since I saw you last. Also, I’ve had a few changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen everyday. As soon as I…
02/21/12 Grif.Net – Diagnosis
A doctor remarked on his new patient’s ruddy complexion. “I know” the patient said, “It’s high blood pressure, I get it from my family.” “Your mother’s side or your father’s side?” questioned the doctor. “Neither. From my wife’s side.” “What?” the doctor questioned, “You can’t get high blood pressure from…
02/20/12 Grif.Net – Quiz for Day Off School
A lion was walking in the jungle and met two men, one sitting on a rock reading a book, the other typing on his laptop. The lion ate only one. Which one and Why? . . . . . . . He ate the man reading the book, because everyone…
02/18/12 Weekend Grif.Net – A Soldier’s Letter Home
[Sullivan Ballou, a major in the 2nd Rhode Island Infantry, wrote this letter home to his wife in Smithfield, Rhode Island:] My very dear Sarah, The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days, perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again,…
02/17/12 Grif.Net – Where’s the Restroom?
Over the years, I have usually managed to decode the cute, but confusing gender signs sometimes put on restaurants’ restroom doors. But every so often, I get stumped. I was in the Hilton in Houston last week and wandered off in search of the men’s room and found myself confronted…
02/16/12 Grif.Net – More Diet Humor Dribbling Over
Overheard in the clinic: ‘My stomach is so big I’m embarrassed by it,’ commented Will. One of our gals asked, ‘Have you tried to diet?’ He replied, ‘Yes, but whatever color I use, it still sticks out.’ ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”
02/15/12 Grif.Net – Computer Poetry
Abort/Retry/Ignore (read like Poe’s “The Raven”) Once upon a midnight dreary, Fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor; Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets: I took my jump-drive from the drawer. Typing with a steady…
02/14/12 Grif.Net – Valentine Commandments
It’s amazing how stores seem to take Valentines Day to heart. And here is an adaptation of 10 Commandments for this special day for guys like me. I. I am thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt squeeze no others before me. II. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze…
02/13/12 Grif.Net – Occupy PGA Tour
I am a member of golf’s 99%. I play golf, but have not yet made it to the professional level. I have played the game for over 40 years, but have not really put in the practice time and study to be the best. I also probably do not have…
02/04/12 Weekend Grif.Net – Freedom! God! and Right!
[The Grif.Net will be off line for a week for needed maintenance. Sorry.] My great-grandfather William Rogers was both a Methodist circuit-riding preacher and a soldier in the Second Regiment, 24th Regiment of Foot, South Wales Borderers. He had been ministering in rural parishes in Western Iowa, but left his…
02/03/12 Grif.Net – Impact of Oil
Students at our Wyoming home-school group, after talking about the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, were asked to write a paragraph about the harmful environmental effects of oil on fish. My 11-year old wrote, “Oil must be bad. When my dad opened a can of sardines last night,…
02/02/12 Grif.Net – Time Saving Cleaning Tip
This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you. 1. Put both lids of the toilet up. And add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the…
02/01/12 Grif.Net – February Pun-ishment
Motto for February – “Puns are bad, but Poetry is verse.” “There are some that are wise. There are others that are otherwise.” “Remember, a good pun is its own reword” “One man’s fish is another man’s poisson” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”