Grif.Net

It was one of the coldest winters in Wisconsin, and many animal= s were dying because of the deep freeze. The porcupines, realizing the situ= ation, decided to group together to keep each other warm. This was a great = way to protect themselves from the bitter cold and keep…

I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask way too = many personal questions. Like, “Whose = blood is this”, and “Where did you get it?”   ~~ My friend said to me, “I won’t use stores that g= ender kids’ beds.” I said, &#822= 0;Like a…

Examining the paradoxes and incongruities of the English langua= ge may cause considerable head scratching.   SINCE . . . >There is no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the hamburger, and ne= ither pine nor apple in the pineapple. >E= nglish muffins were not invented in England nor…

Why did the geography professor wet the bed? His only weakness was in continents.   What do you call a tour guide t= o Alcatraz? A con tour map.   What did Mason say to = Dixon?This is where I draw the line.   Why do paper maps never win…

[Time for another quiz, this one a tried-and-true multiple gues= s test but on an eclectic blend of subjects about nations on earth. Enjoy t= he search for truth.]   1. What is the most peaceful nation on earth? Australia, Austria, Iceland, Ireland   2.After Russia, what is t= he…

Hank W realized, “Marriage is a relationship where one pe= rson is always right and the other person is the husband.”   Bruce M admitte= d, “If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to ‘Grow U= p’, I could build the biggest tree house you’ve ever…

[Why fit in when you were born to stand out? Here are some enco= uraging, prodding, and humorous challenges to keep moving.]   "You have brains= in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose." ~ Dr. Seuss   "The secret…

[After nearly 2 years of Tom Swifty word plays on the first wee= kday of each month, we return to our normal pathetic and hopeless blend of = puns and wordplays to challenge your sanity and sanctification. You’r= e welcome.] **Did you know that most people in Athens do not…

I got pulled over by a traffic cop. He walked up to my window and said, “Papers.” I said, “Scissors, I win,” and I drove off. He must be desperate for a re-match because h= e’s been chasing me for miles. &n= bsp; ~~ I’m = addicted to ordering hatchets…

[I asked newly-married fellows for some stories of their wives&= #8217; cooking. No name/date given, for obvious reasons.] >>My wife must be the worst cook ever.  In my house our custom is to pray after we eat= , not before.   >>I blame my wife’s cooking for my weight gain. Ever=…

A man is laying in the hospital, waiting to be the first person= in history to receive a brain transplant. A doctor comes in and says &quot= ;Congratulations! But unfortunately, since this is a new procedure, your in= surance isn’t going to cover it all. So, we’re going to give…

My English teacher told me I’d never be good at poetry because = I’m dyslexic. But so far, I’ve made three ju= gs and a vase, and everyone says they’re lovely.   ~~ I remember when my youngest came home from First Grade and announced that= A-D (the first four…

My God, I love Thee, not because I hope for heaven thereby; Nor yet since they who love Thee not must burn = eternally.   Thou, O my Jesus, Thou didst me upon the cross embrace; For me didst bear the nails and spear, and manifold disgra= ce;   An=…