Mark Twain was born on the night Haley’s comet pa= ssed the Earth, and died the night it passed the Earth. Average li= fe span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches. The only 15 letter = word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.…
05/16/26 Weekend Grif.Net – The Bell
Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in= it. From a distance, each looks like every other horse. But if you stop yo= ur car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing. Looking= into the eyes of one horse will disclose…
05/15/26 Grif.Net – About the ‘Net
[This is a reprint from the Grif Net blog May 15, 2006. = Amazed at how many of these are still true 20 years later.] 1. Home = is where you hang your @ 2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than t= he mail. 3.…
05/14/26 Grif.Net – Conversion to Metric
Useful Metric Conversions You Won’t Learn in School * 1 mill= ion microphones =3D 1 megaphone &nbs= p; * 2000 mockingbirds =3D two kilomockingbird= s * 52 cards =3D 1 decacards * 1 millionth of a fish =3D 1 microfiche * 453= =2E6 graham crackers =3D…
05/13/26 Grif.Net – Lame Brain
[These ‘jokes’ will draw a groan rather = than a chuckle. If you don’t get every one, you are not alone.]What did the cell say to his sister’s cell after she stepped on his foot?= Mitosis. The logic pr= ofesser’s wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands…
05/12/26 Grif.Net – Try On Jokes for Sighs
“People often accuse me of stealing other̵= 7;s jokes and being a plagiarist. Their words — not mine…&#= 8221; "I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence= =2E There’s a knob called brightness, but it doesn’t work.&= quot; “What do you do…
05/11/26 Grif.Net – Mother’s Day Report
A friend shouted to his Mom on Mother’s Day, &= #8220;How does breakfast in bed sound?” She said, “Ooh that sounds lovely!” He said, “Great, I’ll have bacon, toast, and two = eggs.” My buddy asked his Mom what she wanted for Mother’s Da= y. She said, “Thanks son,…
05/09/26 Weekend Grif.Net – Mother’s Day Date
After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take anothe= r woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you, but I know t= his other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you."= The other woman that my wife…
05/08/26 Grif.Net – Grandmothers on Mother’s Day
Grandchildren don’t make a woman feel old. That comes from t= he knowledge that she’s married to a grandfather. It’s amazing how g= randmothers seem so young once you become one. Grandmothers are like a piec= e of string – handy to have around and easily wrapped around…
05/07/26 Grif.Net – Grandmothers on Mother’s Day (part 2)
An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young agai= n. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. Nobody can do f= or little children what grandmothers do. Grandmothers sort of sprinkle star= dust over the lives of little ones One of the most powerful…
05/06/26 Grif.Net – Grandmother on Mother’s Day (part 1)
What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them loose change f= rom my purse, and they give me a million dollars’ worth of pleasure. Becomi= ng a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you’re just a mother. The next yo= u are all-wise. And prehistoric. &nb= sp; Grandchildren don’t stay…
05/05/26 Grif.Net – Funny Answers (part 2)
Wh= y did Shakespeare always write with a pen? Because = pencils made him ask ‘2B or not 2B’? What is so fragile that saying its name breaks it? Silence What do you call a ske= leton with only a head? A nobody.= What did the bossy…
05/05/26 Grif.Net – Funny Answers (part 2)
Wh= y did Shakespeare always write with a pen? Because = pencils made him ask ‘2B or not 2B’? What is so fragile that saying its name breaks it? Silence What do you call a ske= leton with only a head? A nobody.= What did the bossy…