Daily Humor

A guy walked into a butcher and asked, "Could I have th= ose from the top shelf please".   The butcher replied, "Sorry, I = can’t risk climbing the stepstool.  The steaks are too high."   ~~   = And did you hear about the butcher who accidentally backed into…

[Monday-Friday we send inane humor, but on the weekend, we s= hare a little more from the heart.  This is a repeat from February 200= 1, twenty-five years ago. Hope you enjoy it.]   A man’s daughter had asked th= e local minister to come and pray with her father.…

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother= , "Mom, guess what?  We learned how to make babies today."   T= he mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That’s interesting," she said. "Ho= w do you make babies?”   "It’s simple,"…

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mis= chief, finally asked him, "Jimmy, how do you expect to get into Heaven= ?"   The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I’ll just run in and= out, and in and out, and keep slamming the door until St.…

"God should have used Michael and not Noah t= o save the animals.  After all, isn’t he the ark angel?"   = ~~ "My dad is like Jacob. He did= the laundry when mom was sick and now I have a coat of many colors"   ~~ "One of the…

[It is 8 a.m. and 4F degrees with piles of snow. Who= would retire to the frozen tundra of Wisconsin? Dad Jokes for St. Bob&#821= 7;s Day] Knock knock. Who’s there? Irish.&nb= sp;Irish who? Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!   Whe= re can you always find gold?  In th= e dictionary.…

[I was writing a chapter in my book, with pages focu= sed on Texas. I remember this old joke from long ago.]   Joe, a Texas ranch= er, was going on and on about how great Texas was. When he got to the size = of everything in Texas, he…

Some = years ago, a friend asked me to share some details about myself with a cute= ABC format floating around the ‘net. Apart from my demonstrably warp= ed sense of humor, I really had to think about these. Here goes!=   A- Age: today I celebrate finishing 78 years…

GAMES TO PLAY AT MY BIRTHDAY PARTY       &= nbsp;  1. Sag, You’re it =  =        2. Pin t= he Toupee on the bald guy.          3. 20 quest= ions shouted into your good ear. &nb= sp;        4. Ki= ck the bucket          5. Red Rover,…

I’m not grouchy, I just don’t like traffic, waiting, crowds,= children, or politicians.   I’m positive I did housework correctly before m= y mate retired.   I’m sure everything I can’t find is in a secure place.   = I’m wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that’s just my left leg. =…

I’m the life of the party . . . even when it lasts until 8 p= m.   I’m very good at opening childproof caps . . . with a hammer.   I’m usu= ally interested in going home before I get to where I am going.   = I’m…

>&= gt;Life should not only be lived, but it should also be celebrated wit= h cake   >>Birthday calories don&#82= 17;t count, so eat cake with wild abandon  &nb= sp; >>You know you’re getting old when the candles cos= t more than the cake   >>Age is the= price of wisdom and laughter…

[Taken from the March 9, 2011—15 years ago today&#8212= ; Grif Net but still useable for us, Sometimes you just need a way to get b= ack at someone for their comments or conduct or character or just the way t= hey are in general.  Try a few of these…