Grif.Net

[Gene added some food items I’ve missed since my travels were limited. – In Texas, McTacos. In Israel, McMutton (kosher, of course). For vegans, McTofu. In New Orleans, McGator. And he suggested McClams in Boston (or better, McLobsta] Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers,…

Driving through Colorado, Kansas and Oklahoma, I’ve been noticing new items on the McDonald’s menu not in my home town . . I think these may be “rejected”! 10. Salmon McNella 9. McKitty Sandwich 8. Chicken McBobbitts 7. McGristle 6. Way Too Happy Meal 5. McShrooms 4. The Depressed Meal…

[Carrie answered Monday’s grif.net on stress with this sage advice: “And of course you know that STRESSED backwards is DESSERTS, thus the cure is obvious.” Well said! So here is some food humor. Kinda.] Top Ten Rejected Cookbook Titles: 10. Getting Even: Hillary’s High-Fat Cookbook 9. Peanut Butter and Jelly…

[After a quick1000 mile drive to Tulsa, I feel a tad stressed and look forward to a great conference. Here are some tips to show when YOU are stressed: YOU KNOW YOU’RE TOO STRESSED WHEN… You can achieve a “runners high” by sitting up. The sun is too loud. You…

Today we see a clear distinction between the Gospel of the New Testament and the man-made counterfeit “gospel”. The truth has been replaced with a “Gospel of health and wealth”, a “Gospel of self-esteem”, a “Gospel of humanism” (often called the Gospel of Oprah), along with false gospels offered in…

Things we learn from our mothers: 1.My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION… “Just wait until your father gets home.” 2.My Mother taught me about RECEIVING…. “You are going to get it when we get home!” 3.My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE… “What were you thinking? Answer me when…

[The title of today’s Grif.Net humor is only a mere coincidence that it falls on our wedding anniversary. We’ve been happily married 3 years. 3 out of 38 ain’t bad . . . 🙂 ] A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he…

Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won Ton 1 millionth mouthwash = 1 microscope Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier = Mach…

A two-inch garden hose will carry four times as much water as a one-inch hose. Of the 25 highest mountains on earth, 19 are in the Himalayas. Lightning puts 20,000,000,000 pounds of nitrogen into the earth each year. It takes 120 drops of water to fill a teaspoon. The Pacific…

[Amaze your friends with absolutely worthless trivial statistics] The skin of a human being varies from 0.5mm in the eyelids to 6.0mm or more in the palms, soles of the feet and between the shoulders. In one year the average human heart circulates from 770,000 to 1.6 million gallons of…

Biblical Tribute to Father – “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first of the Ten Commandments that ends with a promise. And this is the promise: If you honor your father and mother, “you will live a long life, full of blessing.” And now a word to you…

I love Friday the 13th. On Friday, September 13th, 1968 I went out on my first date with Teresa. By Friday, December 13th, 1968, I gave her a ring and asked her to be my bride. The next time that ominous date rolled around was Friday, June 13th, 1969, and…

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t . 2. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them. 4. I used to have a handle on…