Grif.Net

A small town doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish. One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby…

The Smiths were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. Their relatives included senators and Wall Street wizards. They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren and hired a fine author. Only one problem arose — how…

Two deaths this week made headlines. Actor and dancer Patrick Swayze succumbed to pancreatic cancer. And Bible teacher Paul Van Gorder. Millions were impacted when they saw Swayze in movies such as North and South, Ghost, Dirty Dancing, etc. Millions were also impacted by Van Gorder though many would not…

“Marriage is a lot like the army. Everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the numbers that re-enlist.” – James Garner “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” – Benjamin Franklin “Don’t assume that every sad-eyed woman has loved and lost – she may have got him.”…

[Forwarded from a preacher friend in the Sunshine State] Hey Bob – I’ve sure gotten old since we last saw each other. I’ve had 2 double by-pass surgeries, a hip replacement, and new knees. I fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet…

A man was playing chess with his dog in the backyard. A neighbor noticed and commented, “Wow, I’ve never seen a dog play chess before. She must be very smart.” “Hah!” scoffed the man. “She’s not so smart. I’ve beaten her three out of five games.” ~~   Dr Bob…

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just…

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to “Where do pets come from?” Adam and Eve said, “Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you anymore. We are lonesome here and it is…

RECALL NOTICE: The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype unit’s code named Adam and Eve, resulting…

[HAPPY PATRIOT’S DAY! 9.11 will never be the same in my mind again] While handing a 25 cent-off coupon to the supermarket clerk at the checkout counter, a woman inadvertently missed her hand, and the coupon slipped beneath the moving belt under the scanner and was gone. They looked and…

10. There’s a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler.  9. The pews have camper hookups.  8. You overhear the pastor telling the sound man to have a few extra tapes on hand to record today’s sermon.   7. The preacher has brought a pile of lunchables…

In honor of Labor Day week, can you match the now-famous personalities with their earlier jobs? 1. Jim Carey 2. Warren Beatty 3. Steve Buscemi 4. Sean Connery 5. Walt Disney 6. Wilford Brimley 7. Morgan Freeman 8. Tim Burton 9. Evangeline Lilly 10. Mick Jagger 11. Rod Steward 13.…

Knowing that the minister was very fond of Cherry Brandy but did not like to publicize the fact that he enjoyed an occasional drink, one of the church deacons offered to give him a bottle on one condition: he must acknowledge receipt of the gift in the Church Bulletin. The…