Grif.Net

Three aspiring psychiatrists, from three leading universities, were attending their first class on emotional extremes. “Just to establish some parameters,” said the professor to the student from UCLA, “What is the opposite of joy?” “Sadness”, said the student. “And the opposite of depression?” he asked the young lady from Clemson.…

Top 10 things you’ll never hear any Dad say . . . 10. Well, how ’bout that? I’m lost! Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions. 9. You know Pumpkin, now that you’re thirteen, you’ll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won’t that be fun? 8. I…

[A little grade school humor shared by a 6th grader with me] Q. Who was the greatest male financier in the Bible? A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation. Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went…

[Martin Fennelly wrote this for the Tampa Tribune, Nov 11, 2009 and it brought tears to my eyes] Every once in a while a teacher invites me to speak to their high school class or college journalism course. You know, just talk about writing. When it’s time for questions, the…

Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policemen stopped traffic and recovered the box.…

There was this kindergartner who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn’t stop sucking his thumb, he’d get fat. A few days later, his mother had some friends over for Calli Tea. The boy pointed to an obviously pregnant woman…

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. I was seated next to her, and…

A policeman pulled a man over for speeding and asked him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he said, “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?” The man grew really indignant and said, “Officer, I couldn’t help but…

A man and his wife were driving their recreational vehicle across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimmee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it – KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town. Since they were…

For those who are not aware: At all military base theaters, the National Anthem is played before the movie begins. This is written from a Chaplain in Iraq. I recently attended a showing of ‘Superman 3’ here at LSA Anaconda. We have a large auditorium we use for movies, as…

From an email by a friend. She writes: I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse started with certain basics. “How much do you weigh?” she asked. I said, “130.” The nurse put me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 185. The nurse asked,…

There was once a very influential farmer in a remote part of China, who had a problem. His chickens were losing their feathers and dying. He sought the counsel of the two wisest men in town – Hing, who was scientist, and Ming, who was a sorcerer. Hing, who has…

While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, a man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. “What’s in the bags?” asked the guard. “Sand,” said the cyclist. “Get them off – we’ll take a look,” said the guard. The cyclist…