Grif.Net

RAGGED OLD FLAG I walked through a county courthouse square, On a park bench an old man was sitting there. I said, “Your old courthouse is kinda run down.” He said, “Naw, it’ll do for our little town.” I said, “Your flagpole has leaned a little bit, And that’s a…

[Getting ready for grandkids to come soon with ‘corny joke time’. Some of these are truly pathetic. The jokes, not the grandkids . . . ] Q. How is a healthy person like the United States? A. They both have good constitutions! Q. What’s big, cracked, and carries your luggage?…

[We’ve all heard of Pig Latin from our childhood days. But did you ever learn “Fish Latin? Well, today you will.] Caviar Emptor – Beware of the fish. Carp Diem – Seize the fish. Veni, Vidi, Fishy – I came, I saw, I fished. Cod Erat Demonstrandum – Proving the…

[We cannot end June without a little more Wedding humor. And truisms. And confessions.] Never marry a man for money. You’ll have to earn every penny I married MR. RIGHT, I didn’t know his first name was ALWAYS! Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. A man said his credit…

The experimental salt-water algae farm was having difficulty because of the depletion of the plants by hundreds of terns. An ornithologist was hired to solve the problem. His solution was to grow cannabis sativa plants along the rim of the algae tanks. The terns would nibble at the cannabis and…

Q: What do you call a cow with 2 legs? A: Lean Beef Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: It was the chicken’s day off. Q: A totally black cow was standing in the middle of the road. A man was cruising around a corner with no…

To realize the value of a sister or brother: Ask someone who doesn’t have one. To realize the value of ten years: Ask a newly divorced couple. To realize the value of four years: Ask a graduate. To realize the value of one year: Ask a student who has failed…

Sherlock Holmes and his faithful companion Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. They find a beautiful spot and set up their tent. After a full day of enjoying nature, they go into their tent and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes Dr. Watson and says, “Look up at…

Answers overheard in Sunday School . . . Q. Does anyone here know what a bishop does? A. Moves diagonally. Q. Why did the Israelis make a golden calf? A. They didn’t have enough gold to make a cow. Q. Where do people go who use bad language? A. To…

School’s been out a while and terrible jokes, riddles and groaners are missing from your kitchen table? NOT ANY MORE!! Q. If two’s company and three’s a crowd, what is four and five? A. Nine. Q. What do you call a hippie’s wife? A. Mississippi Q. What do you call…

Marilyn wrote to say, “I don’t want to brag or make anybody jealous, but I’m just sayin’, after 55 years, I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

Bob sent this testimonial. “As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers. I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door (whose bedroom looks like Mission Control) and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and…

For two years they knew each other with mutual and growing dislike. He was the wild youth, pushing the envelope, while she was Miss prim and proper. Both were gifted, talented, in plays and choirs, but no inclination to think of one another. Friday the 13th of September 1968. Propelled…