Grif.Net

A father passing by his teenage daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter…

Smith climbed to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asked the Lord, ‘God, what does a million years mean to you?’ The Lord replied, ‘A minute.’ Smith asked, ‘And what does a million dollars mean to you?’ The Lord replied,…

These feathered creatures have inspired a host of idioms in our language. Relating to chickens and their offspring, what word/phrase would mean . . . 1. Cowardliness? 2. Cautiousness? 3. Intelligent? 4. Retirement? 5. Right kind of person? 6. Feeling Foolish? 7. Hyper-active? 8. Prudent? 9. Dominated by wife? 10.…

I was in the six item express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the…

[You’ve been asked to be Best Man at a wedding? Have some fun.] 1. After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either three or four sizes smaller or larger than the groom’s. Pick up the groom’s properly-fitted coat, switch with the extra rented coat, and deliver to…

There will be no nursing home in my future… Nope. I’m going to live on a Cruise Ship year round! The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations, and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135…

Is there an imaginary cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions? Is there some wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, ‘It’s their life,’ and feel nothing? When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital…

Two men were sitting on a bench, waiting for a bus. At their feet between them lay a dog. One fellow said to the other, “Hey, does your dog bite?” The other replied, “Never. He’s a good dog that never bit anyone.” So the first fellow petted the dog and…

[More food-related humor. You can see what’s on my mind!!] The snack bar next door to the Oak Ridge atom smasher was called “Fission Chips.” On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack. A new chef from India was fired a…

Hey folks, this is your Pilot. We’re going to play a little game of geography trivia. If you can recognize where we are by looking out your window, tell your flight attendant and receive an extra bag of goldfish snacks. ~~ Our loss of altitude allows a unique close up…

Feathers are light. The sun gives off light. Therefore, the sun gives off feathers. All tables have four legs. My dog has four legs. Therefore, my dog is a table. God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. Time is money. Money talks…

A musician who joined an orchestra on a cruise ship was having difficulty keeping time with the rest of the band. Finally, the captain said, “Either you learn to keep time or I’ll throw you overboard. It’s up to you, sync or swim.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus…

As you open your pockets for another natural disaster that is sure to come, keep these facts in mind and it might help you consider where your donations should go. Marsha J. Evans, President and CEO of the American Red Cross: salary for year was $651,957 plus expenses. Brian Gallagher,…