Grif.Net

After having the children assist in setting up props to make the front of the church into a stable and manger area, the pastor asked if any of them had a Christmas carol they would like to sing. One little girl suggested, “The First Motel” Makes sense to me. ~~…

Announcements in the church bulletin don’t always come across to the reader as they were originally meant. Like . . . *The church will host a rummage sale next Saturday. Ladies, please leave your clothes in the basement. *The weekly teen activity will be held in the gym Friday. All…

Quidquid latine dictum sit altum sonatur. Or ‘Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.’ So here are some favorite Latin phrases to sprinkle in with your blog, email or annual Christmas letter to impress . . . Nescio quid dicas = I don’t know what you’re talking about Nemo hic…

A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, “Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river. ” The little girl said, “No, Dad. You hold my hand.” “What’s the difference?” asked…

Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand? Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing? Why is it called “after dark” when it is really “after light”? Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected…

MY THANKSGIVING PRAYER Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings, thank You, Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf. Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible, thank You, Lord, that I can see.…

A student asked her teacher why people thought angels were male, not female. The teacher, of course, replied that with names like Michael and Gabriel they MUST be male. But she was stymied when the girl asked her about angels that had female names like Sarah or Cher. And I…

A little boy saw my bracelet that had the letters WWJD on it. He volunteered that he knew what the letters meant. “What Would Jesus Drive” I smiled and asked him what WOULD Jesus drive? Without hesitation he suggested, “A van that seats 12 and pulls a boat”. Makes sense…

I read that walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month. Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. The advantage of exercising…

Two travelling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion’s guest room. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the…

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea… does that mean that 1 in 5 enjoys it? The problem with political jokes is they get elected If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments. Marriage is not a word — it is a…

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea… does that mean that 1 in 5 enjoys it? The problem with political jokes is they get elected If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments. Marriage is not a word — it is a…

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child? You’re never too old to learn something stupid. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs. A good time to…