[A FaceBook friend named Juli often posts “advice” that makes me chuckle. I compiled some of the worst, er, best of her advice] Obey gravity. It’s the law. Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night If you think you are too small to be effective,…
03/15/11 Grif.Net – Wind in Wyoming
I was standing by the door of the Court House here in Casper talking with a friend. We noticed the wind blowing leaves and trash, swirling all around. The custodian was out on the steps, trying to corral the mess and sweep up debris, She was a very small woman…
03/14/11 Grif.Net – Two Birthdays in One Week!
[For new subscribers to the Grif.Net: on Monday-Friday we send out a slightly warped blend of humor. On the weekend we send out material that is more serious of a moral, ethical, religious or political nature. This in Monday, March 14 and my birthday so thought I would repost this…
03/12/11 Weekend Grif.Net – Church Members
Fred Somebody, Thomas Everybody, Susan Anybody, and Joe Nobody were neighbors, but they were not like you and me. All four belonged to the same church, but not sure we’d enjoy worshipping with them. EVERYBODY went fishing on Sunday or stayed home to visit with friends. ANYBODY wanted to worship…
03/11/11 Grif.Net – Status Updates
[Always enjoy odd “status updates” of my friends who are posting on various social media about such interesting lives they lead] I am reading a book on Glue. Can’t seem to put it down. Busy day. Am headed back to 1988 to pick up a few thousand Microsoft stocks Going…
03/10/11 Grif.Net – Pun of the Month
[Marilyn just forwarded this really bad word play yesterday and I couldn’t wait to hear you all groan together] A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at 3 am. The chief petty officer spied him and ordered the sailor to stop. The chief…
03/09/11 Grif.Net – Put Downs & Come Backs
Sometimes you just need a way to get back at someone for their comments or conduct or character or just the way they are in general. Try a few of these on for size. Look ’em in the eye and say sweetly . . . I suppose your dad walks…
03/08/11 Grif.Net – New Meanings for Existing English Words
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are: Coffee, n: The person upon whom one coughs. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. Abdicate, v.…
03/07/11 Grif.Net – New Words in the English Language
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing ONE LETTER, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money…
03/05/11 Weekend Grif.Net – The Ten Good Thoughts (not quite Commandments)
1] Prayer is not a “spare wheel” that you pull out when in trouble; it is a “steering wheel” that directs us in the right path throughout life. 2] Do you know why a car’s WINDSHIELD is so large & the rear view mirror is so small? Because our PAST…
03/04/11 Grif.Net – Top 10 Zen Meditations
10. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else. 9. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 8. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Matter of…
03/03/11 Grif.Net – Diet Tip
JJ shared this tip on weight loss. “I figured out why I’m fat! The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my body says, ‘For extra volume and body’. No wonder! So in place of that fattening shampoo, I’m going to start using Dawn dish soap. It says,…
03/02/11 Grif.Net – A Capital Idea
A 3rd grader was asked if she knew the capital of Colorado. She smiled and said “Yes. It is a ‘C’.” Got me thinking about how little most American’s know about the Capital Cities of US states. More state capitals begin with the letter ‘C’ than any other letter. Odds…