Grif.Net

[Selected wit and wisdom of a Founding Father] Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. Certainty? In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes. God heals and the doctor takes the fee. He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals. If you would…

[Keeping with our theme this week of the Revolutionary War, here are some fun questions for the younger generation to ask their teachers] What happened as a result of the Stamp Act? The Americans licked the British! Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington? Because the…

The Founding Fathers were sitting around a table sometime during the Revolutionary War, working on the Constitution for a new nation. It had been a long day. We can imagine the conversation . . . Thomas Jefferson: “Whew! It’s getting rather warm in here, isn’t it?” Ben Franklin: “Shall I…

[Everyone knows about Paul Revere on the 18th of April of ’75 and his midnight ride. Few know the less familiar story of what happened the night before.] Paul Revere had just discovered that someone in Boston was a spy for the British. When he saw the young woman believed…

I asked God for strength that I might achieve; I was made weak that I might learn to humbly obey. I asked for help that I might do greater things; I was given infirmity that I might do better things. I asked for riches that I might be happy; I…

A bus driver was conducting a tour of famous Civil War battle sites. “Here,” he points out at one spot, “is where only a handful of Southern troops routed a whole regiment of Yankees.” As he continued the tour, he added, “Over there, the Rebs wiped out a whole company…

[This week marks the 150th anniversary of the Late Great Unpleasantness. Here is a cute story about a Civil War soldier] A soldier had lost his bayonet and whittled one from wood so he could stand inspection. He was hoping not to be discovered until the regiment had gone into…

[Remembering the 150th anniversary of the start of the War of Northern Aggression, we include an actual bit of humor from the period] Two privates were discussing how inedible the hardtack was. One commented, “Say Bill, I hear the first sergeant of Company A bit into his hardtack yesterday and…

[Lame attempt at humor based on the Civil War] A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. “My great grandfather, at age 12,” one declared proudly, “was the youngest drummer boy at Gettysburg.” “Mine,” boasted another, “helped…

[This week begins the 150th anniversary of the American Civil War. As an avid historian and reenactor, I thought I’d try for some civil war jokes) You might be a Civil War Reenactor if . . . You jump when you overhear people talking about how bad the “Yankees” are,…

[Bob B forwarded this story with a real impact] When I was a kid, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so…

Heard this story about Los Angeles. A young woman and her newborn baby got on a bus. The bus driver looked at the baby and screamed in horror at the sight of it. The woman was upset but doesn’t know what to do, so she just marched to the back…

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. – Jimmy Durante I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. – Zsa…