Grif.Net

My co-worker didn’t come into work today. He called this morning and said he was having a vision problem. When I asked what was wrong, he replied, “I just can’t see myself at work today.” I told the new employee, ‘You can name your own salary here. I call mine…

Nine Lesson Concerning Sickness – Bishop J.C. Ryle (1889) 1. Sickness is meant to make us think-to remind us that we have a soul as well as a body-an immortal soul-a soul that will live forever in happiness or in misery-and that if this soul is not saved we had…

A fellow limped in to the examining room at the local clinic. His doctor looked up and said, ‘Good morning. John. What’s the trouble?’ He replied, ‘My shins, doc. Just look.’ ‘Good heavens. They’re all hacked to pieces. It looks as if everyone’s been kicking you. What have you been…

A man went into a pet shop and asked the assistant, “Do you have any dogs going cheap?” He replied, “Sorry sir; all ours go woof.” Why is your cat so small? He only drinks condensed milk. What kind of dog has four legs and one arm? A pit bull…

Enjoyed playing the “What do you call . . ” game with grandkids this summer. Yes, they are in grade school so remember the level of humor will be for 9 year olds and warped grandpa’s! What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta What do you call a…

It just dawned on me . . . My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day, and when awake does nothing of any real importance. He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants. His meals are provided at no cost to him. He visits the…

Three cowboys from Wyoming were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village to scoop up some souvenirs and autographs. The first suggested, “Let’s watch the registration table to see if there’s a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in.” Immediately, a burly athlete…

[Wal-Mart statistics verified by Snopes (however, we don’t know who verifies Snopes). Commentary not verified by anyone. Taken from a local political column whose author may enjoy tea.] 1 Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart every hour of every day. 2. This works out to $35,000 company profit every minute! 3.…

Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you when they are good and ready. Dogs will give you unconditional love forever. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you’ve ever made since the day you were born. Dogs will let you give…

An embarrassed woman approached the pastor after the service. “I’m awfully sorry about my husband walking out like that. I do hope you won’t take it as a reflection of your beautiful sermon?” “No, not at all” replied the gracious preacher. “I’m sure all God’s creatures have their reasons.” “Oh…

Did you hear the one about . . . . . the fellow who was so short that when it rains he’s the last one to know? . . the fugitive who held hostage a busload of Japanese tourists? The police have 5,000 pictures of him. . . the gal…

It’s so hot today.. the nation is under a “heat dome” but will have plenty of shade under our 14 trillion dollar debt ceiling that it makes me want to take off my skin and sit in my bones ice pops are melting in the freezer that I actually felt…

[A fellow passed this on as true. I have my doubts.] I was walking alone without my husband downtown, and was asked by a very dirty and disheveled homeless gal for money. The gal said she needed a ‘couple of dollars for dinner’. I took out my wallet, got out…