Grif.Net

I walked into the house to find my grandson had made a mess and not done a thing about cleaning it. I exclaimed, “I told you to clean this place up because you were leaving for home first thing in the morning. You promised that if you played with anything,…

A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, “Do you think I’ll find Big Bird in here?” The little girl stayed silent. Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat.…

Rose from Montana told me this story about a fellow that the Forest Service Ranger discovered sitting by his campfire chewing away on a roasted Bald Eagle. “Hey mister, the Bald Eagle is a protected species, and killing one is punishable offense”, said the Ranger. The man was swiftly arrested…

Here are some tidbits I learned (the hard way) from five years in Texas: ~If you drive into a ditch, don’t panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don’t try to help them, just stay out of their way. This…

AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL by Judge Roy Moore America the Beautiful, or so you used to be. Land of the Pilgrims’ pride, I’m glad they’ll never see Babies piled in dumpsters, Abortion on demand, Oh, sweet land of liberty, your house is built on sand. Our children wander aimlessly, poisoned by…

When the driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, he plowed into an empty tollbooth and smashed it to pieces. He climbed down from the wreckage and within a matter of minutes a truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers. The men picked up each…

Not too bad weather this vacation on the Coast. We were gone a week and it only rained twice. First time was for 4 days and second time was for 3 days. ~~ Since I was driving on the LA freeways, I wanted a reliable rental car and one that…

It was July and still a LOT of snow banks along Wyoming mountain-pass roads. My wife and I were eager to see a vista down a narrow gravel road leading off the pavement. We had heard that snow slides had made some of the roads in the area impassable and,…

At the airport check-in counter, I overheard a woman ask for window seats for both herself and her husband. The clerk pointed out that this would prevent them from sitting together. “Sweetie,” the woman replied, “I just spent ten days of so-called vacation in a compact rental car with this…

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee: “Before we order, could you please settle an…

[ML forwarded this great reminder] In the line at the store, the cashier told the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bag because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment. The woman apologized to him and explained, “We didn’t have the green thing back in my day.”…

If you are from the northern states and planning on vacationing anywhere in the South, there are a few things you should know that may help you from sticking your foot in your mouth: ~The North has coffee houses. The South has Waffle House ~The North has dating services. The…

Paul Grayson, Cruise Director for the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line, shared these real questions from first-time cruisers: ~Do these steps go up or down? ~What do you do with the beautiful ice carvings after they melt? ~Which elevator do I take to get to the front of the ship? ~Does…