Grif.Net

Sept 13, 1968 (you guessed it, a Friday) was my first date with Teresa. Thought some dating/marriage thoughts I’ve heard would be appropriate today. **Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now I only catch her in my pockets. **My wife made me join a bridge club.…

When a woman discovered that she was pregnant, her four-year-old son overheard his parents’ conversation about possible baby names. He didn’t say anything until a week later when a family friend asked him if he was excited about the prospect of a new brother or sister. “Yes,” said the boy,…

John Harper was born to Christian parents on May 29th, 1872. It was on the last Sunday of March 1886, when he was 13 years old that he received Jesus as the Lord of his life. He never knew what it was to “sow his wild oats.” He began to…

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to mom and said, “I’m surprised at you. Don’t you remember how we used to drive you…

My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn’t find any. So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, “These vegetables are for my wife and have to be all natural. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?”…

There was a very self-sufficient blind man who did a lot of traveling alone. He was making his first trip to Houston and happened to be seated next to a Texan on the flight. The Texan spent a lot of time telling him how everything is bigger and better in…

As a child I saw Tarzan run around almost naked. I read about Dick chasing Jane all over the neighborhood Cinderella arrived home after midnight, missing some of her outfit. Pinocchio told lies. Aladdin was a thief. Donald Duck dressed sharp but never wore pants. Batman drove over 200 miles…

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend ~~ Father: Do you know, most people don’t have to work today, because it’s Labor Day. Son: If people are not working, shouldn’t we call today ‘No-Labor Day?’ ~~ Boss:…

The ‘Mindset List for the Class of 2015’ is off the press. Beloit College produces this annual reminder. This is just a short excerpt; we’d encourage you to go to their website and be enlightened as to how this new freshman class thinks. Andre the Giant, River Phoenix, Frank Zappa,…

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I’m invisible. Who said that? ———- Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat. And how long has this been going on? Oh, ever since I was a kid. ———– Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a pair curtains. Pull yourself together! ———– Doctor, Doctor,…

Famous Indian chief ‘Shortcake’ died. His warriors were out hunting buffalo so his wife had to dispose of the body. So what happened? Squaw bury Shortcake. [contributed by a 10 year old who thinks the grif.net is really funny. So there.] ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me,…

[Here are some lines found after being gone from home a little too long] “Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.” “Your Uncle died and left you over one hundred clocks. It’s up to you to wind up the estate.” “You said you’d take me to a fancy…