Grif.Net

Dear Lord, So far today, I am doing okay. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, or been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, and self-indulgent. I have not whined, complained, cursed, or eaten any chocolate. I have charged nothing on my credit card. I’ve not nagged at my husband or yelled…

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed . . driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated friend said, “What’s taking so long? Hit the ball!” The fellow answered, “My wife is up…

Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. “So, how did you do, son?” he asked. “You’ll never believe it!” Billy said. “I was responsible for the winning run!” “Really?…

Don’t Miss This Opportunity!! Are you interested in making $$$$ fast? Here’s an incredibly simple way to do it and there is nothing to buy, no investment to make, no money to lose! TRY it now! Follow this simple procedure: 1. Open a new text or word document 2. Hold…

My co-worker didn’t come into work today. He called this morning and said he was having a vision problem. When I asked what was wrong, he replied, “I just can’t see myself at work today.” I told the new employee, ‘You can name your own salary here. I call mine…

Nine Lesson Concerning Sickness – Bishop J.C. Ryle (1889) 1. Sickness is meant to make us think-to remind us that we have a soul as well as a body-an immortal soul-a soul that will live forever in happiness or in misery-and that if this soul is not saved we had…

A fellow limped in to the examining room at the local clinic. His doctor looked up and said, ‘Good morning. John. What’s the trouble?’ He replied, ‘My shins, doc. Just look.’ ‘Good heavens. They’re all hacked to pieces. It looks as if everyone’s been kicking you. What have you been…

A man went into a pet shop and asked the assistant, “Do you have any dogs going cheap?” He replied, “Sorry sir; all ours go woof.” Why is your cat so small? He only drinks condensed milk. What kind of dog has four legs and one arm? A pit bull…

Enjoyed playing the “What do you call . . ” game with grandkids this summer. Yes, they are in grade school so remember the level of humor will be for 9 year olds and warped grandpa’s! What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta What do you call a…

It just dawned on me . . . My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day, and when awake does nothing of any real importance. He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants. His meals are provided at no cost to him. He visits the…

Three cowboys from Wyoming were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village to scoop up some souvenirs and autographs. The first suggested, “Let’s watch the registration table to see if there’s a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in.” Immediately, a burly athlete…

[Wal-Mart statistics verified by Snopes (however, we don’t know who verifies Snopes). Commentary not verified by anyone. Taken from a local political column whose author may enjoy tea.] 1 Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart every hour of every day. 2. This works out to $35,000 company profit every minute! 3.…