Grif.Net

The ‘Mindset List for the Class of 2015’ is off the press. Beloit College produces this annual reminder. This is just a short excerpt; we’d encourage you to go to their website and be enlightened as to how this new freshman class thinks. Andre the Giant, River Phoenix, Frank Zappa,…

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I’m invisible. Who said that? ———- Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat. And how long has this been going on? Oh, ever since I was a kid. ———– Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a pair curtains. Pull yourself together! ———– Doctor, Doctor,…

Famous Indian chief ‘Shortcake’ died. His warriors were out hunting buffalo so his wife had to dispose of the body. So what happened? Squaw bury Shortcake. [contributed by a 10 year old who thinks the grif.net is really funny. So there.] ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me,…

[Here are some lines found after being gone from home a little too long] “Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.” “Your Uncle died and left you over one hundred clocks. It’s up to you to wind up the estate.” “You said you’d take me to a fancy…

Many of you know that today I was supposed to be leaving for Vietnam and Cambodia on a ministry trip with my daughter, guided by Evangelist Tim Lee (a decorated Vietnam vet who left both legs behind). Because of circumstances beyond our control, the trip had to be postponed until…

On his vacation with the rich and famous, the President went to an elementary school on the island to talk to the kids (and to get much needed positive PR). After his talk he offered question time. One little boy put up his hand and he is asked his name.…

Up at the college today and heard a professor lecturing the incoming freshman class on using correct English. “In English a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, however, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. But there is no language in the world where a…

I visited my grandkids school for the parent orientation today. (Hey, it was free hot dogs so g’pa volunteered to go) The teacher asked whether anyone could remember the chemical formula for water Wanting to show my 4th and 2nd graders how smart I was, I said, “Sure, it’s HIJKLMNO.”…

Here is what I would LIKE the Boss to say about my ideas: **Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. Here is what the Boss would LIKE to say about my ideas: **I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant. **How about never? Is never…

Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel. Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist; they put up a sign reading: “Dr. Smith…

An old pastor lay dying. He sent a message for an Internal Revenue Service agent and his lawyer to come to the hospital. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his room. As they entered the room, the pastor held out his hands and motioned for them to sit…