Today (March 14) I turn 64. Yippee! With that and 50 cents I can get a cup of coffee at Hardees. Here are some thoughts I’m considering this day: 1. I much prefer being ‘over the hill’ to being ‘under’ it. 2. The best birthdays of all are those I…
03/13/12 Grif.Net – Ten Signs of Aging
Facing a birthday, so sharing some insights with my friends. You Know You’re Old When . . . 1. You and your teeth don’t sleep together. 2. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?” 3. You begin every other sentence with, “Nowadays…” 4. The clothes you’ve…
03/12/12 Grif.Net – 10/50
10 Things It Took Me 50 Years to Learn (sent by a friend and appropriate for celebrating my birthday this week) Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. There can be a fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.” You should never confuse your career…
03/10/12 Weekend Grif.Net – Song, Hymns and Praise Music
An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was. “Well,” said the farmer. “It was good. They did something different, however. They sang praise choruses instead of hymns.” “Praise choruses?” asked the wife.…
03/09/12 Grif.Net – Marriage Advice
[Couple of my friends recently posted thoughts on marriage. NONE of these are original with me, in case my wife reads this grif.net page. Of course, my opinions are my wife’s anyway, and she says I’m lucky to have them at all.] Marriage is like a deck of cards. In…
03/08/12 Grif.Net – Fortune Teller
Walking by a fortune teller shop on the way home from school, little Chloe asked her friend, “Do you think people can predict the future with cards?” “oh, yes”, said Justin. “My mother can.” “Really?” “I’m sure. She’ll take one look at my report card and tell me exactly what…
03/07/12 Grif.Net – Letter from College
One woman was bragging at church about her son, away at college. “Why, our son is so brilliant, every time we get a letter from him, we have to go to the dictionary.” “You’re lucky,” replied another. “Every time we get a letter from ours, we have to go to…
03/06/12 Grif.Net – Ordination Memories
[After college/grad school and 2+ years full time as an associate pastor, I got my first senior pastorate and stood for ordination. March 6, 1973. Here is an old story of another ordination – ordination of Uncle Zeke – not to be confused with MY story.] Down in the deep…
03/05/12 Grif.Net – Diet Suggestions
[At our clinic we have “The Diet That Works”. Not too catchy, but hey, it works. Here are some other suggestions we’ve been given that may NOT work too well.] SEVEN-DAY DIET (eat all you want today because not another bite for a week) ALL-DESERT DIET (eat only in the…
03/03/12 Weekend Grif.Net – Who Influences Whom?
There’s a story that Thomas Wheeler, CEO of the Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company, tells on himself. He and his wife were driving along an interstate highway when he noticed that their car was low on gas. Wheeler got off the highway at the next exit and soon found a…
03/02/12 Grif.Net – Status Updates
[I have some strange friends on FaceBook. Here are some selected “Status Updates” I’ve seen posted. Just sayin’ . . ] I want to learn how to make candles, so today I’m logging into Wickipedia. When I get old, I don’t want people thinking, “What a sweet old lady…” I…
03/01/12 Grif.Net – March Religious Word Play
Did Noah keep his bees in archives? ~~ I heard that Paula Dean almost worships her cooking utensils. Does that make her a pantheist? ~~ When I go to confession, I just give a brief overview of my sin, not the details. I think of it only as a synopsis.…
02/29/12 Grif.Net – Bissextile Humor
[Get your minds out of the gutter. Bissextile means ‘of, or pertaining to, the leap year or the extra day in the leap year’.] While our calendar only allows exactly 365 days each year, the earth actually takes 365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes, 46 seconds for a complete orbit…