Grif.Net

I was fishing on the North Platte and in the frantic activity of trying to = land a "big one", my billfold fell out of the jeans into the = water.  I assumed it was gone for good, but was amazing to see a large carp push = up to…

When a friend arrived home, his wife told him that the cleaning lady whom they had recently dismissed had stolen two of their plush towels as a parting gesture. “How dare she!” stormed the husband. “I know,” said his wife, “and they were our two best towels – you know,…

For once in his life, our Wyoming real estate agent decided to be honest with a prospective house-buyer. “This property has its good and bad points. There is a Standard Oil refinery just to the west. The city sewage treatment lagoon is to the north. A cattle feedlot is located…

Daughter once asked, “Daddy, you’re the boss of the house, right?” “Yes, sweetheart,” I replied. “I’m the boss of the house.” “And I know why you’re the boss of the house, Daddy.” “Why’s that?” “Because Mommy put you in charge.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This…

The manager of a ladies’ dress shop realize that it was time to give one of her sales staff a pep talk. “Paula,” she said, “your figures are the lowest in the department by a long way. In fact, unless you can improve your sales record soon, I’m afraid I’ll…

Adapted from the great Christian book “Choose Joy” by Kay Warren. Fantastic insights by this dear lady! “I was watching ‘Winnie-the-Pooh” with my children years ago when it hit me: my husband is just like TIGGER! That launched me into assigning characters to other people I know, and the Winnie-the-Pooh…

“The man who smiles when things go wrong has already thought of someone to blame it on.” – Robert Bloch “Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” – Maryon Pearson “Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.” Lily Tomlin “The only way to keep your health…

[Okay. Grandkids are gone. Quiet and lonely around here. And I came across some jokes I’d set aside to try-out on them. Tough. So you all get the left over jokes for grade-schoolers. Some might even be good.] Did you hear about the man who opened a flea circus? He…

After taxiing down the runway, the airliner suddenly stopped, then turned around and returned to the gate. About an hour later it finally took off. I was worried, so I asked the flight attendant, “What was the problem?” “The pilot was very concerned about the noise one of the engines…

[Credit for this forward to SM, but hope his wife doesn’t find out] The later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you. A dog’s parents never visit you. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions. Dogs like it if you leave things on…

[Forwarded from CSR who should know] HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM 1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men’s work boots. 2. Place them on your front porch, along with an old, well-read copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine. 3. Put four giant…

1. Your thumb is nearest to you. So begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the easiest to remember. To pray for our loved ones is, as C. S. Lewis once said, a “sweet duty.” 2. The next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for…

This is an old grif.net first sent out by me in 1997!! Obviously back in circulation and many re-sent it to me during this heat wave, saying it sounded “just like my sort of humor”. It was! So will recycle again this summer because it IS so hot that .…