My I.Q. Test came back negative.
Last week, I went to a furniture store to look for a decaffeinated coffee
table.
After four decimal places, nobody cares.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a
suitable application of high explosives.
When camping at a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will
keep the campsites on either side vacant.
There’s no real need to do housework — after four years it doesn’t get any
worse.
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Half the people you know are below average.
Incontinence Hotline…Can you hold, please?
Tonight’s weather: Dark with continued darkness until dawn.
How does AVON find so many women willing to take orders?
Eagles may soar, but weasels aren’t sucked into jet engines.
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
A.A.A.A.A. – An organization for drunks who drive.
The Lord gave you two ends, one for sitting and one for thinking. Your
success depends on which one you use–heads you win, tails you lose.
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
Everybody repeat after me…..”We are all individuals.”
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”