Grif.Net

[Here is help for you to know what to pitch and what to save] THE GAG TEST = Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night). EGGS = When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg…

[Twist on our monthly bad puns – this are pun-ishing definitions] Crick: The sound that a Japanese camera makes. Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston. Alarms: What an octopus is. Dockyard: A physician’s garden. Oboe: An English tramp. Propaganda: A gentlemanly goose. Toboggan: Why we go…

A snowstorm in the South is about as rare as a glass of unsweetened tea at a church supper. Folks around Birmingham, Ala. weren’t all that worried though. The storm was only supposed to ‘dust’ the city – not even enough powder for a Southern snowman. So when the first…

Jonah: SAVE THE WHALES Uriah: TAKE A HITTITE TO LUNCH Israelites: HONK IF YOU LOVE MOSES Cain: CELEBRATE NATIONAL BROTHERHOOD WEEK Lot: IF YOU CAN SEE SODOM, YOU’RE TOO CLOSE Elijah: MY OTHER CHARIOT ROLLS Joshua: JERICHO MUST GO Goliath: VOTE TO BAN SLINGSHOTS Canaanites: VOTE NO ON THE SECOND…

Midweek Quiz on “who” invented each of the following. Give yourself bonus points if you also know the first name. 1. ____________ = Phonograph 2. ____________ = Safety Razor 3. ____________ = Telephone 4. ____________ = Law of Heredity 5. ____________ = Revolver 6. ____________ = Railway Sleeping Car 7.…

We live in a technological age so am thinking of revising our Sunday worship. It would go like this: WELCOME: “Praise the Lord!” “Hallelujah!” HYMN: “Download YouTube iTunes songs from the OurChurch.Com channel to be listened to at your leisure during the week c-l-i-c-k-s…… SERMON: “Will everyone please turn on…

[These are MORE “answers” to Bible questions – some a little too clever to be “spontaneous”, but as Art Linkletter would remind us, “Kids say the darndest things”] IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESS, GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF. ADAM…

Amazing stats on personal habits, choices and character. Where do YOU fit in? Tom Corley [RichHabitsInstitute.com] outlines a few of the differences between the habits of the rich and the poor in the USA: 70% of wealthy eat less than 300 junk food calories per day 97% of poor people…

[Bob in Lusk, Wyoming, shared this story] In Wyoming, an old cowboy walked into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut. He told the barber he couldn’t get all his whiskers off because his cheeks were wrinkled from age. The barber got a little wooden ball from a cup…

The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra’s “Its A Wonderful Life” A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours. When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes the state’s third…

Midweek Quiz Time! I will give you a famous phrase and you answer with the first person who used or made it famous. Sounds simple. Not. Example: “I want to be alone” would be the famous actress Greta Garbo, 1. __________ = “The only thing we have to fear is…

[Have heard these as “facts” but cannot verify the truth in any. And don’t need to. Just neat to consider and think they are true. More tomorrow] Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. There…

Always cool to boast about reading books to your friends. These are the SHORTEST books in the world; read them all in a few minutes! MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS (by O J Simpson) THE ENGINEER’S GUIDE TO FASHION HUMAN RIGHTS ADVANCES IN CHINA THINGS I WOULD NOT…