Grif.Net

[Since we made it home – at 1 am Tuesday instead of Sunday – it seems proper to take a few days to relate “travel experiences” of others. Rod shares this as a “true” story. I really believe him.] It’s one of those ‘Polar Vortex’ days at the airport in…

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy and men are stupid. The main reason why women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~~ Men socialize by insulting each other, but they don’t really mean it. Women socialize by complimenting each other, and they…

[Griffins are back in US, stranded (thanks, United) but in 75F California and NOT in -25 in the Midwest. Will take weather for 100 degrees, Alex. And late but here are monthly puns.] Today is Epiphany, celebrating the wise guys who made the first star trek. A shotgun wedding is…

[Lenoralee forwarded some pithy philosophical truths that are thought-provoking and challenging for 2014. The Grif.Net will be dark for ten days as I leave Southern California and head down the road less traveled.] We never get what we want, we never want what we get; We never have what we…

A friend told his co-worker: “Christmas is on a Friday next year.” His friend frowned as she said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.” ~~ Two men found three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked, “What if a grenade explodes before we get…

[Everyone groaned horribly at the piano humor so we decided to stop it. And include MORE ‘generalized’ musical groaners. You’re welcome.] Q. Why did Mozart kill his chickens? A. Because they always ran around going “Bach! Bach! Bach!” Q. Why did mom stop her little boy from watching public television?…

Tragedy struck the home of America’s most popular poet. On July 9th, 1861, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s wife, Fanny, was near an open window sealing locks of her daughter’s hair in a packet, using hot sealing wax. It was thought that a spark from a match or a candle caused her…

[In light of my heart giving me a scare this month, I am preparing some humor on getting older] Epitaph: “There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.” ~~ I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they…

It’s so cold this morning…we stopped taking baths. Last Saturday was our day to get “hoovered”. It’s so cold this morning…when we went outside to play, we could only go as far as the extension cord would allow. It’s so cold this morning…we all envied Linus and his security blanket.…

Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion as well as those who…

[We were asked for the “best” Top Ten “Christmas” list from decades past, but the reader couldn’t remember what it was about. Just “really funny”. So here is another old-but-kinda-good list from the Ghost of Christmas past in hopes of finding the “really funny” list.] Top Ten Useful Phrases for…

[We were asked to repost former Grif.Net “Top Ten” lists of our best Christmas humor. So here is another installment. “Best” is a vague term. Obviously.] TOP TEN EXCUSES THE INNKEEPER HAD 10. Roman’s “Stay Free” promotion a bit too successful 9. Wife said he couldn’t accept olive wood carvings…

[This is a reprint by popular demand of a past Christmas Grif.Net top ten list. If you want more of the “best”, let me know.] TOP TEN LEAST POPULAR HOLIDAY TV SPECIALS 10. Rudolph The Insurance Adjuster 9. Mary, Joseph, and the Donkey’s Wet, Hacking Cough 8. It’s an Above…