Grif.Net

It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered that my Universal Remote Control did NOT, in fact, control the Universe. Not even remotely. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

The Seven Dwarfs are in a cave when the roof collapses. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells into the darkness, “Somebody, say something!” A distant voice responds, “The Cubs will win the World Series!” Snow White sighs, “Oh, thank goodness! At least Dopey is still alive!” [Feel free…

Yesterday I decided to work in my garden. As I turn on the hose, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the table that I collected from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through…

[Zits cartoon in the newspaper about a high school boy stimulated this. Some from today, some from my generation, and some my memories of that age.] What are the most dreaded words in the English language to a high school boy? *License and registration, please . . *Turn your head…

[Enjoy down-home small-town restaurants without the fancy menus all laminated and cute. These are actual “phrases/quotations/jokes” found on menus at places in which I like to dine, though not all in my area.] Go ahead. Have dessert. It’s not like the rest of the meal was lo-cal. Our favorite food…

“When people say, ‘Why don’t you just kind of get on the right side of history?’ I said, ‘You’ve got to understand, this for me is not about the right side or the wrong side of history. This is the right side of the Bible, and unless God rewrites it,…

A young fellow got a job as a trainee in a supermarket. On his first day at work, he came in early, eager to make a fresh beginning. The manager welcomed him with a warm smile and giving him a broom, said, “Your first job will be to sweep the…

Here are some warning signs that you may be spending too much time on Facebook or Twitter or texting online Tech Support calls “YOU” for queries. When an office colleague shares a joke and you say “LOL” out loud. You discover yourself trying to cock your head 90 degrees when…

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. Love doesn’t make the world go ’round, but it makes the ride worthwhile. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. What the…

I am afraid I might have hired a “redneck” at our workplace. Need others to be the judge but so far I’ve noticed . . . 1. He calls his computer mouse a ‘critter’. 2. He has a gun-rack mounted on the CPU. 3. His password is ‘bubba’. 4. He…

“My Favorite Thing to Make for Dinner is Reservations” “I Only Have a Kitchen Because It Came with the House” “I Hate When I go to the Kitchen to Get some Food and Only Find Ingredients” “My Cooking is Fabulous. Even the Smoke Alarm is Cheering Me On” “A Balanced…

Top 10 Things You Won’t Have to Worry About on April 15th (tax day) ~ 10. The Bible will still have the answers. 9. Prayer will still work. 8. The Holy Spirit will still move. 7. God will still inhabit praise. 6. There will still be anointed preaching. 5. There…

“HONK, IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET” “WE ARE STAYING TOGETHER FOR THE SAKE OF OUR CATS” “IF YOU CAN READ THIS, I CAN SLAM ON MY BRAKES AND SUE YOU” “DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK” “THIS VEHICLE PROTECTED BY ANTI-THEFT BUMPER STICKER” “I’M GONNA SURVIVE EVEN IF IT KILLS…