Grif.Net

Can a = Free-Range chicken be cooked on a stove = you bought?   When the = farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the = highest bidder. They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but = auctions speak louder than birds.   A chicken farmer’s favorite…

[Last week’s effort on some chicken humor brought so much whining = and groaning that we decided We HAVE to have a WHOLE WEEK of chicken = jokes. You’re welcome.] There was once a very influential = farmer in a remote part of China, who had a problem. His chickens…

[True story by Anna Kaye MacLean]   I want to share the experience that my husband, 7 year old autistic = sister and I had today at the Chili’s location in Midvale, UT. =   Arianna, my little sister, didn’t waste any time when our waitress, = Lauren, greeted us…

A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a = case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against… get this… = FIRE.   Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile = of fabulous cigars, and having yet to make a single premium payment on = the policy, the man…

[I felt a little chicken, but decided to list some = children’s jokes today. Adults may pick/choose any to laugh at as = desired] Why do = hens lay eggs?(If they dropped them, they’d break!) = What do = you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?(Foul weather!) =…

My buddy = Bob said he was at a party the other night and overheard three very = large women talking. Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so he = approached and asked, "Hello, are you three ‘lassies’ = from Scotland?” One of = them angrily screeched, "It’s Wales, Wales…

A guy want to take his = girlfriend to the prom. He waits in the ticket line for a long time, but = happy to finally get the tickets. He plans to rent a limo. The = rental line is really long, but he eventually is able to rent the…

A little boy was ushered into the ER with a bloody = gash on his head.   "What happened?" asked the receptionist = behind the desk. Crying, the boy replied "My sister hit me with a = couple of tomatoes."   The = nurse came out and said, "That’s incredible. …

A= vacationing American businessman standing on the pier of a quaint = coastal fishing village in southern Mexico watched as a small boat with = just one young Mexican fisherman pulled into the dock. Inside the small = boat were several large yellowfin tuna. Enjoying the warmth of the early…

Math puns are = the first sine of madness. ~~An = abacus is one tool that you can always count on. ~~I was = kicked out of math class for one too many infractions. = ~~I didn’t = understand the math, so the teacher summed it up for me. =…

Resolved: Try one of these ideas on your friends or = co-workers this new year and see if they don’t treat you = differently . . .   1) At = lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair = dryer at passing cars. See…

When Noah opened the doors of the Ark after the = flood, all living creatures dashed to freedom. Only two snakes remained = behind in an unlighted corner.   Harshly, Noah commanded, "Why don’t you go = forth and multiply as God said?"   One = replied, "We can’t. We’re…

[A Dieter’s Psalm for the New Year.  My wife = the naturopath AND my MD gave me a joint order to START back on diet and = get rid of the belly fat I’ve garnered since Halloween. MD sent me = for an ultra-sound Monday to same tech who does…