Grif.Net

What is the difference between = a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a = bicycle?  Attire.   ~~ What is the difference = between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and = the other is a little lighter.   ~~ What’s…

T= wo Minnesotans from Duluth were walking down the street in Chetek, = Wisconsin, when they saw a sign on a store that read, "Suits $5.00 = each, shirts $2.00 each, and trousers $2.50 per = pair." O= le says to his pal, "Looky here!  Ve could buy a whole…

When I was a little kid learning English, my grammar = told me that double negatives were a no-no.   I saw a lone = horse in a lush pasture and thought to myself he must be having a field = day.   Will glass coffins be a success? Remains…

[Testimony from the book = Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow]   I paced back and forth as = I waited for my Polish sister-in-Christ to arrive.  I was nervous = because her family had never had even a small apartment there.  I = had visited Eva-With-No-Home in her…

The parents of a Northwestern student who had just = headed back from semester break received this letter:   Dear = Mom and Dad: Univer$ity life i$ $o = wonderful! Cla$$e$ this $e$$ion are intere$ting, my cla$$mate$ are the = be$t! But after $pending all my = ca$h on Chri$tma$…

Because it wasn’t good for Adam to be left alone, = God came down to share His new plan.  "Adam, I have a plan = that will make you very happy. I’m going to take away part of your body, = and from it make you a companion that will…

They say that all Grandmothers Are inclined to brag a bit, And that there is something in that I frankly must admit. For since I’ve reached that stage- And all my friends have too- I’m floored by all the bragging These other grandmothers do. To hear them rave you’d think This old human race Was…

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Church. As she ran she prayed, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late!”  As she was running and praying, she tripped on the…

[Got this forwarded some time back on “safe” conversations with your wife.  Men, listen up!]  DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner? SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?  DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT? SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown. SAFEST: Wow! Look at you! DANGEROUS: What are…

A man came = home from work and found his three children outside, still in their = pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn = all around the front yard. The door of his wife’s car was open, as = was the front door to…

A King heard tales of a plot to overthrow his = reign.  He had a Count arrested and tortured, hoping to reveal the = names of his enemies.  But the Count would not give up any details = of individuals or the suspected coup.   Finally the = King ordered…

The chickens were distraught when = the tornado destroyed their home, but hopefully they will be able to = recoup.   Many aspiring = major-league chickens fail spring training by only hitting fowl = balls.   The only day = of the week chickens hate is fry-day.   The young…

Q. Why does a chicken coop always have 2 = doors? A. If it had 4 doors, it would = be a chicken sedan.   Q. Why were = the hens thrown off the big rock concert on board a = ship? A. Because police found them = taking eggs…