Visited a family for a big city church during my travel yesterday (I’m in the Midwest) and told them about our little country churches in Wyoming. Here is a list (sent from Linda from Utah) that describes the character of a country church: 1. The doors are never locked. 2.…
10/21/08 Grif.Net – Computer One-Liners
I am logged in, therefore I am. Hard Disk space: the final frontier! Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked. hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY? H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd! COMMAND:…
10/20/08 Grif.Net – New Stock Market Terms
NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and…
10/18/08 Weekend Grif.Net – Heart Surgery
The surgeon sat beside the boy’s bed; the boy’s parents sat across from him. “Tomorrow morning,” the surgeon began, “I’ll open up your heart…” “You’ll find Jesus there,” the boy interrupted. The surgeon looked up, annoyed. “I’ll cut your heart open,” he continued, “to see how much damage has been…
10/17/08 Grif.Net – Satan in Church
At church on beautiful Sunday morning Satan appeared at the front. Everyone started screaming and running for the exit, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from the evil incarnate. Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his…
10/16/08 Grif.Net – 50 cent Sermons
The minister selected a fifty-cent item at a convenience store, but discovered he didn’t have any money with him. “I could invite you to hear me preach in return,” he said jokingly to the owner, “but I’m afraid I don’t have any fifty-cent sermons.” “Perhaps,” suggested the owner, “I could…
10/15/08 Grif.Net – Endangered Species
MT tells of a guy, out hunting in Alaska, who accidentally shot a polar bear. Realizing his mistake, he reported the incident to the local ranger. A week later, he received a letter in the mail telling him that he is being taken to court by the park service. Arriving…
10/14/08 Grif.Net – Too Materialistic?
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Porsche Carrera GT in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out, a truck came along too close to the car and completely tore off the driver’s door. Fortunately, a policeman was close…
10/13/08 Grif.Net – Columbus Day
We all know that Columbus believed the world was round when others believed it was flat and that if you traveled far enough you would go over the edge. We also know that Columbus reached what we now know as America. While there are still a few who believe Columbus…
10/11/08 Weekend Grif.Net – Shoes
As Gandhi stepped aboard a train one day, one of his shoes slipped off and landed on the track. He was unable to retrieve it as the train was picking up speed. To the amazement of his companions, Gandhi calmly took off his other shoe and threw it back along…
10/10/08 Grif.Net – Oil Shortages
A lot of folks can’t understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. Well, there’s a very simple answer. “Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn’t know we were getting low.” The reason for that is purely geographical. Our OIL is located in…
10/09/08 Grif.Net – Financial Panic Hits Japan
Carol sent this important information: Following the problems with Lehmann Bros, AIG, and in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock and Bradford & Bingley in the UK, global financial uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo…
10/08/08 Grif.Net – Who Gets the Dog?
A pastor was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group surrounded a dog. Concerned the boys might be hurting the dog, he went over and asked “What are you doing…