Visited a family for a big city church during my travel yesterday (I’m in
the Midwest) and told them about our little country churches in Wyoming.
Here is a list (sent from Linda from Utah) that describes the character of a
country church:
1. The doors are never locked.
2. The Call to Worship is ,”Y’all come on in!”
3. People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the Ark.
4. The Preacher says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering”
–
and five guys stand up.
5. The restroom is outside.
6. Opening day of deer hunting season is recognized as an official church
holiday.
7. A member requests to be buried in his four-wheel drive truck because “I
ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get me out of”.
8. In the annual stewardship Drive there is at least one pledge of “two
calves.”
9. Never in its entire 100-year history has one of its pastors had to buy
any meat or vegetables.
10. When it rains, everybody’s smiling.
11. Prayers regarding the weather are a standard part of every worship
service.
12. A singing group is known as “The O.K. Chorale.”
13. The church directory doesn’t have last names.
14. The pastor wears boots.
15. Four generations of one family sit together in worship every Sunday.
16. The only time people lock their cars in the parking lot is during the
summer and then only so their neighbors can’t leave them a bag of squash.
17. There is no such thing as a “secret” sin.
18. Baptism is referred to as “branding.”
19. There is a special fund-raiser for a new septic tank.
20. Finding and returning lost sheep is not just a parable.
21. You miss worship one Sunday morning and by 2 o’clock that afternoon you
have had a dozen phone calls inquiring about your health.
22. High notes on the organ set dogs in the parking lot to howling.
23. People wonder when Jesus fed the 5,000 whether the two fish were bass
or
catfish.
24. The cemetery is in such barren ground that people are buried with a
sack
of fertilizer to help them rise on Judgment Day.
25. The final words, of the benediction are, “Y’all come on back now, ya
hear!”
Remember, it’s not heaven, but you can see heaven from the church steps.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net
“Jesus knows me, this I love”