Q. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? A. Pilgrims Q. What season is it when you are on a trampoline? A. Spring-time! Q. When do monkeys fall from the sky? A. During Ape-ril showers! Q. Can February March? A. No, but April May! Q. What…
05/02/07 Grif.Net – Airplanes
[Adam J wrote, “It’s a good thing bad pun week only comes once a year. I have to get on a plane for the first time in my life in a couple of weeks. Maybe next week we could have some plane jokes.”] Okay, Adam, Here are “10 Things You…
05/01/07 Grif.Net – Church Signs
Taken from actual photos of church signs: “God does not believe in atheists, therefore atheists do not exist” “Forgive your enemies – it messes with their heads” “Free coffee AND everlasting life – yes, membership has its privileges” “Don’t be so open minded that your brains fall out” “Read the…
04/30/07 Grif.Net – Wisdom from my Son
DAD – “Do you know what an opera is, son?” SON – “Yes. It’s where someone gets stabbed and instead of bleeding, they sing.” ~~ SON – “Dad, will you help me with my homework?” DAD – “I’m sorry, son, but that just wouldn’t be right” SON – “Well, at…
04/28/07 Weekend Grif.Net – Quiz on US Wars in my Lifetime
This test consists of one (1) multiple-choice question (so you better get it right!). Here is a list of the countries that the U.S. has “bombed” since the end of World War II. China 1945-46 North Korea 1950-53 Guatemala 1954 Indonesia 1958 Cuba 1959-60 Guatemala 1960 Congo 1964 Peru 1965…
04/27/07 Grif.Net – Bad Pun Weak, 5
A bunch of cows and bulls were standing in a field. A huge gust of wind comes along and all the cows fall over, but the bulls just stood there, bracing themselves against the gale. All the cows stood up and brushed themselves off and went back to their business.…
04/26/07 Grif.Net – Bad Pun Weak, 4
Visiting his friend’s dorm room, Pat asked, “Hey, Chris! How’s your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.” Chris replied, “To tell you the truth, I’m really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like…
04/25/07 Grif.Net – Bad Pun Weak, 3
A guy from Czechoslovakia was visiting his cousin the lawyer in Wyoming, and they went for a hike in Yellowstone Park. While they were hiking they were attacked by 2 bears, one male and one female. The male bear dismembered and ate the Czechoslovakian guy, but the lawyer managed to…
04/24/07 Grif.Net – Bad Pun Weak, 2
Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet overboard. As they watched the wallet float down into the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet. Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined…
04/23//07 Grif.Net – Bad Pun Weak, 1
One day, an elderly woman was walking along the street, coming home from the supermarket. Her bag of groceries was especially heavy, and as she passed Nathan Hale’s Used Cars, she got the idea that she should buy a car. So she walked into the car dealership and, as it…
04/21/07 Weekend Grif.Net – Two Tragedies
If you’re like me, you found the tragedy at Virginia Tech “unspeakably horrible”. As I watched the costliest shooting rampage in the history of our nation unfold and began to see “faces” of the victims, I wondered about those who simply grabbed a cup of coffee, their backpack and rushed…
04/20/07 Grif.Net – Possible Viruses
Was looking for information on what happened to Paul Revere AFTER his famous ride (commemorated this week). Found the oddest bit of humor. It was a VIRUS WARNING for the Paul Revere Virus: PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk…
04/19/07 Grif.Net – English Language?
A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-75. The trooper asked, “Got any I. D.?” The driver replied, “Bout whut?” ~~ A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front…