Grif.Net

Even if you aren’t, you may SOUND educated by utilizing perfect English: Scintillate, scintillate asteroid minific Translation: Twinkle, twinkle little star Members of an avian species of identical plumage congregate ensemble Translation: Birds of a feather flock together Surveillance should precede saltation Translation: Look before you leap Pulchritude possesses solely…

A new theory suggests that Elvis and Godzilla were identical twins who were SEPARATED AT BIRTH. Could Godzilla, the King of Monsters and Elvis, The King, be one and the same? You be the judge. Nickname Godzilla: King of Monsters Elvis: King of Rock Year Career Started Godzilla: 1954 Elvis:…

[Carol forwarded this lesson of life from nature. Not sure of its accuracy but was impressed by it. Thank you.] BUZZARD – If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6 feet by 8 feet and is entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of its…

[Suggested questions for my August trip to see the grandkids] Q: How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America? A: They had reservations. Q: What did one elevator say to the other? A: I think I’m coming down with something! Q: What did Tennessee? A:…

[Had fun writing some fictitious “personal ads” for well-known Bible characters. Feel free to send me some YOU think up. BTW, can you figure out the writers?] “Come with me to the promised land. Traditional religious man seeks adventurous mate for the journey of a lifetime. If you enjoy traveling,…

If you are Obsessive-Compulsive, please press 1, then 1, then 1 again, then 1, then 1 repeatedly. If you are Codependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have Multiple Personalities, please press 3,4,5,and 6. If you are Paranoid-Delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just…

[From an Air France bulletin, dated December 1, 1989] Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an ‘E’ for Effort. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that…

Visited last week in northern Illinois (hot and humid) with 6 of my grandchildren. Thought you all might enjoy some of the questions I asked them . . and see if YOU know the answers! [Answers on Wednesday, but you can send in guesses] 1. What peels and chips but…

‘WHO AM I?’ Karl Barth, Paul Tillich, Reinhold Niebuhr and James Cone found themselves all at the same time at Caesarea Philippi. Who should come along but Jesus and he asked the four the same Christological question, “Who do you say that I, the Son of Man, am?” Karl Barth…

Bored cramming for finals? Try this “Canonical List” of Touch-Tone Phone Songs Key to symbology: Commas (,) pauses Hyphens (-) held notes Mary Had A Little Lamb 3212333,222,133,212333322321 or 3212333,222,133,3212333322321 or 3212333,222,399,3212333322321 Jingle Bells 333,333,39123,666-663333322329,333,333,39123,666-6633,399621 333,333,39123,666,6633,3332232,9,333,333,39123,666,66333399621 Frere Jacques 1231,1231,369,369,9*9631,9*9631,111,111 4564,4564,69#,69#,#*#964,#*#964,414,414 Olympic Fanfare 3-9-91231,2222-32112312,3-9-91231,2222-32112321 The Butterfly Song 963,23621,3693236236932362,963,23621 Happy Birthday 112,163,112,196,110,8521,008,121…

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog is thrilled, “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?”…

DID YOU HEAR . . . About the cadet that said bad things about West Point? He was expelled for being rotten to the corps. About the lady who saw a sign at the movies that said 50 cents for servicemen? She paid $5.00 and asked for six paratroopers and…

Bank robber John Dillinger played professional baseball. If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5,000 times, but more like 4950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom. Los Angeles’s full name is “El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de…