Grif.Net

Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given the last rites, the formal speech had been given by the Warden, and a final prayer had been said among…

[Sorry for a little delay in the Grif.Net. On Sunday my Window’s XP’d on my computer and it destroyed files. NOT my humor files in spite of prayers. So $65 to the local guru who prayed to the gods of RAM and DOS and it is finally back – Just…

TOP 10 REASONS RANCH TRUCKS AREN’T STOLEN: #10 They have about 20 miles before they overheat, breakdown or run out of gas #9 Only the owner knows how to operate the door to get in or out. #8 It is difficult to drive fast with all the fence tools, grease…

One day, there was a blind man sitting on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet and a sign that read: “I am blind, please help.” A creative publicist was walking by and stopped to observe. He saw that the blind man had only a few…

“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.” -Ann Landers “If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.” -Will Rogers “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.”…

An anonymous grif.net reader sent me some “unusual” bulletin statements . . 7:30 pm Good Friday Service: The final message will be “Why Doesn’t God Do Something”, with our Pastor. On Maundy Thursday we will re-enact the Last Supper and journey to the Garden of Gethsemane. We will strip the…

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children began discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one…

A devout, church-going man was teaching his son about the evils of lying and that he shouldn’t lie about anything – including fishing. So he asked if a fisherman would lie even after the person died. His son said “Yes. Even in a casket they would lie still.” ~ A…

Yes, that season is upon us. So here are a couple stories: Two men went fishing on a Sunday morning. After a while, one said, “I’m feeling a little guilty. I think maybe we should have stayed home and gone to church.” His friend replied, “Nah, I couldn’t have gone…

Now late on the Sabbath, as it was approaching dawn on the first day of the week, Mary of Magdala and the other Mary came to look at the tomb. There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord, having descended from heaven and having rolled the stone…

For Good Friday – Poem by Ray Boltz, 1986 Walking on the road to Jerusalem The time had come to sacrifice again; My two small sons walked beside me on the road – The reason they had come was to watch the lamb. “Daddy, Daddy, What will we see there?…

[One more day of silly humor, then some serious stuff:] At our Passover Seder, we had whole wheat and bran matzo, fortified with Metamucil. The brand name, of course, is “Let My People Go”. Q: On what do Jews recline on Passover in New York? A: A sofer Passover Poem…

Rabbi Mordechai Bulua reminds us: How did Passover get its name? Since the Seder table is usually made larger, people can’t reach for the items on the table and invariably ask others: “Could you please Pass Over the matzos . . .” How is a good sermon like a piece…