Grif.Net

Why did the chicken cross the road halfway? She wanted to lay it on the line. Why did the rubber chicken cross the road? She wanted to stretch her legs. Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum it could actually be done! Why did the…

Add the “Joke Of The Day” to your Site or Blog. Its FREE! Search for one liner by the Categories category Joke Browse | Browse [Odd assortment of lines I’ve heard . . . ] I don’t get even, I get odder. I don’t have an attitude problem. You have…

June’s Best Knock-Knock Joke = Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, silly, Cows go MOOO! June’s Really Bad Pun Award = The pigeon family decided to fly to the beach for summer vacation. But baby pigeon was worried and said, “I can’t make it; I’ll get…

Wishing to encourage her young son’s progress on the piano, a mother took her boy to a Paderewski concert. After they were seated, the mother spotted a friend in the audience and walked down the aisle to greet her. Seizing the opportunity to explore the wonders of the concert hall,…

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or your bladder will need emptying. Laws of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Workshop Corollary: Any small, extremely expensive part that is accidentally dropped will…

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. “What are you doing?” his mother asked. “The box says you can’t eat them if the seal is…

From an actual newspaper contest where teenaged entrants were asked to imitate “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey.” I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don’t have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last…

My grandson (three-years old) put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot. She said, “Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet.” He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, “Don’t kid me, Mom. I KNOW they’re my feet.”…

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. “You don’t want to try these techniques at home.” “Why not?” asked somebody from the audience. “I watched my wife’s routine at breakfast for years,” the expert explained. “She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and…

ELEPHANTS – Ever see elephants that weigh tons tied to a small wooden stake with nothing but a rope that they could break without effort? Their training starts out with a steel cable that they cannot break. After a while, the cable is removed and the rope is put on.…

Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur? A: Do-you-think-he-saur-us Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur’s dog? A: Do-you-think-he-saur-us-Rex Q: Why did the T-rex cross the road? A: So he could eat the chickens on the other side Q: What do you get if you cross a dinosaur…

20 books for interesting summer reading . . . ‘I Was Prepared’ by Justin Case ‘The Future of Robotics’ by Cy Borg and Anne Droid ‘Why Should I Walk?’ by Iona Carr ‘How to Survive a Bear Attack’ by Ben Eaton ‘CPR Made Easy’ by Izzy Dead ‘Where Have All…

[Esther forwarded these stories to make you scratch your head] My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry, = but they only had iceberg. ~~ A family had to have the…