Grif.Net

The students were lined up for lunch at the cafeteria in our Christian School. At the head of the food line was a large bowl of beautiful apples. A teacher had carefully lettered a sign next to the bowl that read, “Take only ONE; God is watching.” Further along the…

This news just in: All of the Wal-Marts across Alabama sold out of ammunition as of yesterday. A reliable source said that one of the purchasers commented that while Russia may have invaded Georgia, they sure weren’t doin’ it to Alabama. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net “Jesus knows me, this…

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. ~ A. Whitney Brown The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once. ~ Albert Einstein “Automatic” simply means that you can’t repair it yourself. ~ Mary H. Waldrip…

djt suggested, “The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.” Another one? Glad you asked. “I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin,…

The internet is full of “imponderables” or things that give more questions than answers. Here are some questions STILL unanswered. Q. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Q. Why do you have to ‘put your two cents in’ if…

Who am I? I am a Republican. I am under 45 years old. I love the outdoors. I am an avid hunter. I am a member of the National Rifle Association. I have a reputation as a reformer. I am known for taking on the Republican establishment. I have a…

The Washington Post published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. Here are some of the top entries. 1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has…

The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Among the best were: 1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to…

IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS! China will no longer publish a phone directory due to chaos. There are so many Wing’s and Wong’s in the Beijing Directory, people were always wingin wong numbers. I felt you needed to know this. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net “Jesus knows me, this I love”

An Alphabet for Aging A is for apple, and B is for boat, That used to be right, but now it won’t float! Age before beauty is what we once said, But let’s be a bit more realistic instead. . . Now, A’s for arthritis; B’s the bad back, C’s…

[Dakota Rose sent me this chuckle] The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the then leader of Israel. “Your Holiness”, said one of his Cardinals. “Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared…

What do these A-Z taxes have in common? Accounts Receivable Tax Building Permit Tax CDL License Tax Cigarette Tax Corporate Income Tax Dog License Tax Federal Income Tax Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA) Fishing License Tax Food License Tax Fuel Permit Tax Gasoline Tax Hunting License Tax Inheritance Tax Inventory Tax…

So I was having lunch with Bobby Fischer, the former world chess champion, and the table had a checkered tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass the salt. I was stunned last night when my wife told me I was too wrapped up in myself. When did I get…