Grif.Net

Best humor from the convention. Q: What is the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom? A: Lipstick. ‘Hurricane Sarah’ will wreck far more havoc that Gutav and Hannah. ‘Twill be an interesting 61 days in the USA ~~ Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net “Jesus knows me, this I…

BJ sent me this cute chuckle: A family of skunks was trapped in a thicket, surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves that were edging ever closer. The Mother skunk calmly instructed her young: “Quickly children, let’s put our heads together!” After they obeyed, forming a circle, she continued, “Now…

LB sent me this. Obviously he reads other forums than a young guy like me (I’m only 60) might read. These are for those of us who are 70 and older, and for those under 70 who will have this to look forward to not too long from now!! QUESTIONS…

[John sent me this story] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is usually the husband. When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else…

The next time you hear a politician use the word “billion” in a casual manner, think about whether you want the “politicians” spending YOUR tax money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in…

[Understanding the world’s economics, tongue-firmly-in-cheek] AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an…

COW POLITICS (in case you get all emotional this week or next with the spectacle in Denver or Minneapolis) DEMOCRAT You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You push for higher taxes on yourself so the government can provide cows for everyone. REPUBLICAN…

Pastor Bob shocked the congregation when he announced that he was resigning from the church and moving to a drier climate. After the service, a very distraught lady came to the pastor with tears in her eyes. “Oh, Pastor Bob, we are going to miss you so much. We don’t…

In a recent flood in Iowa, Farmer Flack proved himself to be an optimist (even though it was hard with misty optics!!) The flood waters rose on his farm and soon he found himself sitting on the roof. The rescue team came by in a boat to get him off…

This is a collection of actual Church Announcements, either recorded from the lectern or printed in the bulletin: “The lecture on the religious history of circumcision has been cut from tonight’s program.” “The pastor will discuss the health risks of obesity, and then the choir will sing ‘There’s a Wideness…

Is the Word of God important? A man in Kansas City was severely injured in an explosion. The victim’s face was badly disfigured, and he lost his eyesight as well as both hands. He was just a new Christian, and one of his greatest disappointments was that he could no…

Have the last four of my grandchildren here to visit this summer, so thought I’d share some jokes about their Grandpa’s life. Final Installment = Silly Stuff Christian: “Grandpa, why did you give up dairy farming and go to work in a candy factory?” Bob: “I just wanted to milk…

Have the last four of my grandchildren here visiting this summer, so thought I’d share some jokes about their Grandpa’s life. Next Up = Puns Prison Escapee: “Say, Bob, how did you get rid of the bloodhounds that were trailing us?” Bob: “I threw a penny in the stream back…