Grif.Net

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, ‘How heavy is this glass of water?’ Answers called out ranged from 8 oz to 20 oz. The lecturer replied, ‘The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you try to hold…

[Man, the really bad plays on words are pouring in. What have I started? Mark writes:] My wife was in labor with our first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly she turned red in the face and began to scream, “SHOULDN’T . .. COULDN’T . . WOULDN’T .…

In the spirit of word play, Jason shared this historical “fact” about wrist watches . . . In the autumn of the year 333 BC, Alexander the Great came head-to-head with Persian King Darius during the battle of Issus on the north-eastern Mediterranean Coast. He decided to try out his…

From “punster” here are a couple entries for pun o’the month in October: “A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.” and “Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net “Jesus knows me, this I…

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read: “I’m the Boss!” He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he…

Lovers of the English language might enjoy this. It is yet another example of why people learning English have trouble with the language. Learning the nuances of English makes it a difficult language. There is a two-letter word in English that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word,…

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;…

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. 2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, poops on everything, and then leaves. 3. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles. 4. PRAIRIE…

[A lot of grif.net emails get returned with messages that recipients are “out of the office”.] I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. I may be a little moody so be prepared. You are receiving this automatic…

[I lived in a ‘burb of Dallas/Ft Worth for more than four years, and some of these are sooooooo true!] Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas plus a couple no one’s…

I love autumn. It gives me a chance to sit at home and watch the world series. A bit like the Yankees again this year . . . Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the NY Yankees? A: Because she ran away from the ball. The Yankees are at…

[I may not join a league this year with these new rules] If you holler “overs!” before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the “overs”. When your team is about…

There recently was a death of a 98 year-old lady named Irena. During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw Ghetto, as a Plumbing/ Sewer specialist. She had an ‘ulterior motive’. She KNEW what the Nazi’s plans were for the Jews, (being German.) Irena smuggled infants out in…