Grif.Net

[A lot of grif.net emails get returned with messages that recipients are “out of the office”.] I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. I may be a little moody so be prepared. You are receiving this automatic…

[I lived in a ‘burb of Dallas/Ft Worth for more than four years, and some of these are sooooooo true!] Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas plus a couple no one’s…

I love autumn. It gives me a chance to sit at home and watch the world series. A bit like the Yankees again this year . . . Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the NY Yankees? A: Because she ran away from the ball. The Yankees are at…

[I may not join a league this year with these new rules] If you holler “overs!” before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the “overs”. When your team is about…

There recently was a death of a 98 year-old lady named Irena. During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw Ghetto, as a Plumbing/ Sewer specialist. She had an ‘ulterior motive’. She KNEW what the Nazi’s plans were for the Jews, (being German.) Irena smuggled infants out in…

The students were lined up for lunch at the cafeteria in our Christian School. At the head of the food line was a large bowl of beautiful apples. A teacher had carefully lettered a sign next to the bowl that read, “Take only ONE; God is watching.” Further along the…

This news just in: All of the Wal-Marts across Alabama sold out of ammunition as of yesterday. A reliable source said that one of the purchasers commented that while Russia may have invaded Georgia, they sure weren’t doin’ it to Alabama. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net “Jesus knows me, this…

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. ~ A. Whitney Brown The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once. ~ Albert Einstein “Automatic” simply means that you can’t repair it yourself. ~ Mary H. Waldrip…

djt suggested, “The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.” Another one? Glad you asked. “I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin,…

The internet is full of “imponderables” or things that give more questions than answers. Here are some questions STILL unanswered. Q. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Q. Why do you have to ‘put your two cents in’ if…

Who am I? I am a Republican. I am under 45 years old. I love the outdoors. I am an avid hunter. I am a member of the National Rifle Association. I have a reputation as a reformer. I am known for taking on the Republican establishment. I have a…

The Washington Post published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. Here are some of the top entries. 1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has…

The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Among the best were: 1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to…