Grif.Net

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. “How was he killed?” asked one detective. “With a golf gun,” the other detective replied. “A golf gun? What is a golf gun?” “I don’t know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net “Jesus…

Dan wrote that a man charged into a bank wearing a bandana and wielding a handgun. He shouted, “This is a stick-up; everyone, get on the floor!” He then proceeded to empty the cash drawers. As he ran toward the door with the loot, a brave customer yanked off the…

[From a 3rd Grade teacher] The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever had was while teaching third grade in 2008. The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest. I decided we would have an election for a class president. We would choose our nominees.…

[The Grif.Net has been off line as our computer was infested by demons named RAM, DOS, ROM, ACSII and a host of other malware evils. It is back, kinda and we have purchased a new Toshiba and will be shifting files, backing up stuff over the next week. I assume…

“Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce Court Judge said, “And I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week,” “That’s very fair, your honor,” the husband said. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin,…

[I used this story on Sunday to illustrate the nature of the human condition] Little Carol came into the kitchen where her mother was making dinner. Her birthday was coming up and she thought this was a good time to tell her mother what she wanted. ‘Mom, I want a…

In honor of our Veteran’s on this special day, a little odd advice – Friendly fire – isn’t. Recoilless rifles – aren’t. Suppressive fire – won’t. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note. A sucking chest wound is Nature’s way of telling you to slow down. If…

During a visit to the Mental Asylum, a visitor asked the Director, ‘How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?’ ‘Well,’ said the Director, ‘we fill up a bathtub, and then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him…

Sixteen men elected President of the US were senators at one time. They were: James Monroe, John Quincy Adams, Andrew Jackson, Martin Van Buren, William Henry Harrison, John Tyler, Franklin Pierce, James Buchanan, Andrew Johnson, Benjamin Harrison, Warren G. Harding, Harry S. Truman, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon B. Johnson, Richard…

There are reports of a new problem in Australia. Some of the kangaroos have developed a thirst for revenge against the traffic that keeps knocking them down. Drivers have reported that they’ll pass a herd of roos that are hopping along peacefully, but as soon as they’ve passed them, the…

[Jim forwarded this TOP TEN list, hopefully NOT from personal experience, why some men have dogs and not wives] 1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name. 3. Dogs like it if…

[Some may need help to understand new terms used in mathematics these days. Hope this helps you and your children’s homework assignments] Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi ~~~ 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League ~~~…

Sobering thoughts for our Election Day reading from Alexis de Tocqueville (a visitor to the United States during its first decades as a nation) “Liberty cannot be established without morality, nor morality without faith.” “America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease…