Following Super Bowl XLIII and the official end of widowhood for many
football widows, here is a summary of some of the best “Ecclesiastical
Football” terms in our churches:
Quarterback Sneak – Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
Draw Play – What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
Halftime – The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to
leave.
Benchwarmer – Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything
but sit.
Backfield-in-Motion – Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain)
during the service.
Staying in the Pocket – What happens to a lot of money that should be given
to the Lord’s work.
Two-minute Warning – The point at which you realize the sermon is almost
over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
Sack – Where many sleepy-eyed parishioners wish they still were
Instant Replay – The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s
illustrations.
Sudden Death – What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the
preacher goes “overtime”.
Trap – You’re called on to pray and are asleep.
End Run – Getting out of church quickly, without speaking to any guest or
fellow member.
Two-Deep – Defense given by some who don’t like to think about the doctrinal
points of the sermon
Flex Defense – The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the
sermon to affect your life.
Half-back Option – The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for
the evening service.
Blitz – The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus knows me, this I love”