Grif.Net

[Third and final batch of Grandkids are heading to Wyoming this weekend so Grandpa is trying to “get in shape” with kid-style jokes. Lame kid-style jokes, for sure, but I’m trying] A cowboy rides into Casper, Wyoming, wearing a paper hat, paper pants, and paper boots, and he’s immediately arrested.…

Rose sent this story about Morris and his wife Esther who went to the Montana State Fair every year, and every year Morris would say, ‘Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.’ Esther always replied, ‘I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is…

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG’S DIARY, August 5th 8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm – Lunch! My…

BJ wrote, My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. I noticed their Disney password was “MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto,” and asked why it was so long. “Because,” my son explained, “they say it has to have at least four characters.”…

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line,…

[Cousin Janet forwarded this thought-provoking story going around the ‘net] What would you do? You make the choice. Don’t look for a punch line, there isn’t one.. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice? Listen to this father’s story: “My son Shay is mentally…

What doctors say, and what they’re really thinking: “This should be taken care of right away.” I’d planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself. “Welllllll, what have we here…?” He has no idea…

Forwarded by a regular here; originally from an orthopedic surgeon. See if you can outsmart your foot, but trust me, you can’t. It is pre-programmed in your brain. 1. While sitting at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.…

Over dinner, five surgeons were discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table. The first surgeon said, “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.” The second responded, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them…

Returning from a trip I sat in a wheelchair in the Delta section of the Salt Lake City airport terminal, I was appreciating the fine service as I was saved from walking long distances by kind staff members (who wouldn’t even accept a tip!!). I can walk, but the more…

Murphy’s Law of Children 1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning. 2. For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty. 3. Toys multiply to fill any space available. 4. The longer it takes you to make a meal,…

[Tongue in cheek, but serious thought behind this clever parody. Anyone who is still a liberal (fewer and fewer admitting to it after the mess Congress is in) may feel free to change the title/theme to barb any conservative politician of your choice. Or delete it. Or weep.] Congress Votes…

A Texan, a Californian, and a Nevadan were out riding their horses. The Texan pulled out an expensive bottle of whiskey, took a big swig, then another, and then suddenly threw it into the air, pulled out his gun and shot the bottle in midair. The Californian looked at the…