Grif.Net

Here are some characteristics of Computer “Geeks” or “Nerds”. See if you can find yourself in any. * Choosing to buy flowers for your girlfriend or to spend the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma. * Everyone else on the Alaskan Cruise is on deck gazing at…

[I’m worried that my Windows Program is trying to take over my life. Here are some recent messages I’ve received] * Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. * CONGRESS.SYS corrupted… Re-boot Washington D.C? (Y/N) * Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N) * Smash forehead on keyboard to…

My name is Spam. Spam I Am. I have some stuff I’d like to sell. Take a look! It’s really swell! I do not want your worthless spam. I do not want it, Spam I Am. [Spam I Am says] $500 software that really rocks! Just 20 bucks–still in the…

Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait a weigh. As…

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s definitely obsolete. 3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you’d least expect to find…

[Pastor Jim in Kentucky shares this serious reminder] “There’s a man goin’ ’round takin’ names. An’ he decides who to free and who to blame. Everybody won’t be treated all the same. There’ll be a golden ladder reaching down, when the man comes around. “—Johnny Cash “Jesus would never judge…

Phoebe sent me this story: One day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living…

Dr Chan faced a mystery. Some of his most valuable artifacts of jade and teak were taken in an apparent robbery. Police found footprints that looked like a young lad, but something was not right. So they set a hidden surveillance camera at other antique shops. They were surprised to…

This St. Patrick’s Day you’re likely to take part in that time honored tradition of wearing green. If not, you risk punishment-by-pinch, an especially popular custom on schoolyards and around office water coolers. Thus, wearing green on St. Patrick’s Day is not only widely practiced, it’s virtually required. It’s hard…

A husband asked his wife, ‘You never argue when I get mad at you. How do you always control your anger?’ ‘I clean the toilet,’ she replied. ‘How does that help?’ he asked. ‘I use your toothbrush.’  ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

Working people frequently ask us newly-retired people what we do to make their days interesting. A friend shared this example: “Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came…

[Tomorrow is my 62nd birthday, and I start collecting Social Security. Thank you to all who are working hard to support me, since FDR and Congress lied and never did put any of MY money into an “untouchable” fund so it would be here at retirement with interest and no…

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift. When his mother-in-law asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!” And then the fight started……