Grif.Net

[My favorite speech/voice prof sent this important RECALL NOTICE] Yamaha has recalled 20,000 pianos due to a problem with the pedal sticking, causing pianists to play faster than they normally would. This has resulted in a number of accidentals. Several near misses have also been reported in the carpal tunnel.…

[Gramma K sent me this experience] I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing ‘fairly well’ for my age. (I just turned 62). A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, ‘Do you think I’ll…

[This is a true story from this past week here in Casper] My wife doctors many missionaries and we send packages of natural health products anywhere in the world they are needed. One couple had left the field because of health issues, and Teresa worked with the wife and they…

Two old friends happened upon each other at the store one day. One of the men was obviously in a foul, depressed mood, not even able to work up a weak smile to celebrate this chance encounter. “What’s the trouble, buddy?” the other man asked. “Oh, let me tell you,…

Dreamed I was drafted into the army, which at age 62 was something of a surprise. My Drill Sergeant at basic training was a big, mean tough career Army woman named Tina. She hated me. While climbing ropes I fell and broke my leg, but due to army regulations I…

In the spirit of Chinese New Year, I feel I should share some words of wisdom from a great Chinese sage. Confucius says: “A lion will not betray his mate. But a Tiger wood.”  ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

JACK (age 3) was watching his mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: ‘Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?’ MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn’t…

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn, how…

[Excerpts from a sermon of a pastor in Virginia] Genesis 47:13-27 (summarized; go read the story of Israel in Egypt) Note that economic hard times fell upon Egypt, and the people turned to the government of Pharaoh to deal with this for them. And Pharaoh nationalized the grain harvest, and…

Here are some characteristics of Computer “Geeks” or “Nerds”. See if you can find yourself in any. * Choosing to buy flowers for your girlfriend or to spend the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma. * Everyone else on the Alaskan Cruise is on deck gazing at…

[I’m worried that my Windows Program is trying to take over my life. Here are some recent messages I’ve received] * Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. * CONGRESS.SYS corrupted… Re-boot Washington D.C? (Y/N) * Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N) * Smash forehead on keyboard to…

My name is Spam. Spam I Am. I have some stuff I’d like to sell. Take a look! It’s really swell! I do not want your worthless spam. I do not want it, Spam I Am. [Spam I Am says] $500 software that really rocks! Just 20 bucks–still in the…

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